Lights and Sounds.

Miserable At Best.

2010-08-14T00:56:00.003+08:00

"Dear Lewis,
You've got to know this. You've got to start having confidence in yourself.
I know whenever you look into her eyes, you feel small.
You feel inferior.
But somehow, you can't seem to look away.
It's like a small little boy oogling an ice cream cone from afar, him knowing he can never have it but dream so much of gaining it.
I know you think you've got nothing to offer, no looks, no talents, not even the basic average height.

You stammer in front of her.
You drop your popcorn all over the seat.
You have no idea what you're going to say next.
She talks about your past and what you've done.
You regret for a moment, but regret no longer.
For you know for sure, you've grown from it.
You've changed from it.

She might say all the negative points about herself, but truth is, you don't mind.
You know human beings are never perfect.
You know everyone has flaws.
And you know you accept her flaws.
All you're asking for is a chance to woo, not even to get get into a relationship.
But a chance to woo.

You see through her iron body and realise she's like toufu.
Sturdy on the outside but soft on the inside.
Afraid she is of another heartbreak.

You know how tough it'd be.
To appease her.
It's like David against Goliath.
But you remain faithful.
And I believe that faithfulness, reaps good harvest.
Whether tangible, or intangible.

This is all I have to say.

Peace and love,
Lewis."

That was 16th Feb 2010, nearly 6 months ago.

How I missed the faithfulness.

How I missed her.

Funny how things can change at such a drastic pace.

She said I meant a lot to her.

But truth is, sometimes people need more than just words.

This is the first time I'm going to pray for something.

For God to help me let go.

It just feels so hurtful knowing you've been living a lie.

Despite all of that, I still miss you.

And I hope you'll be happy with him (I know he's so much better than me).

Though I know you'll never see this, goodbye.

And if God permits, we'll meet again some day.

Mayday Parade - Miserable At Best

Katie, don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting, go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

'Cause I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
But I need it

So, let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh

And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
Been three whole days since I've had sleep
'Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

So let's not pretend that you're alone tonight
(I know he's there and)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you
But without you I'll be miserable
And I can live without you but
Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best

Peace & love,

Lewis

Hope.

2010-06-13T16:21:00.006+08:00

So Near, Yet So Far.

"There is nothing much I can do;

I can spend my time listening to you,

Or maybe share a joke or two.

I don't mind being treated like a fool,

Just to take away your blue.

If you let me through,

I will show you that I can be true."

- Me

Isn't it weird how a person can miss another whom he hardly even knows.

How he would look around the crowd just hoping to meet her and tell himself that it's fate.

How he would spend hours thinking of the perfect poem for her.

How he would hope every time his phone shines, he sees her name.

How he would learn to play guitar songs hoping to play for her one day.

How he would walk past Kovan each weekday hoping to bump into her.

How he would love to just have a bus ride with her.

How he would beat himself each day reminding how foolish he is in doing all these.

How he would beat himself each day reminding how irritating he is.

How he would beat himself each day reminding how inferior he is.

How he would beat himself each day reminding how to live life.

How I wished that guy wasn't me.

How I wished you'd give me the opportunity to know you.

How I wish...

Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova - Falling Slowly (From the movie: ONCE)

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react

Games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat
And point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice
You had the choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly
Eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Wounds that take me
And erase me
And I'm painted black

Well you have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you've won

Take this sinking boat
And point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice
You had the choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat
And point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice
You had the choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly
Sing your melody
I'll sing it loud
Loud

Peace & love,

Lewis

2010-04-25T20:38:00.002+08:00

"In times you may stumble,

To the point where you stay down.

Your heart may crumble,

And in tears you drown.

You shout for help,

But no one hears.

Alone you yelp,

Thinking of all your fears.

There may be disappointment,

But there is always hope.

Only through this you can find fulfillment,

Only through this can you cope.

Dark clouds may hover the sky,

But the sun is there always.

Your tears will dry,

And the night will turn to day."

- Me

So this is it.

I need to seriously get my life back on track.

Family. Love. Friends.

I'm putting this family back together.

At least i'll try.

Love, i'm tired of fairytale endings.

I'm getting back to reality.

Friends, love them.

Lifehouse - Halfway Gone

You were always hard to hold
So letting go aint easy
Im hanging on youre growing cold
While my mind is leaving

Talk, talk is cheap
Give me your word you can keep
Cause I’m halfway gone and Im on my way
And Im feeling, feelin feelin this way
Cause youre halfway in but dont take too long
Cause Im halfway gone, Im halfway gone
Halfway gone
I’m halfway gone

You got one foot out the door
And choking on the other
Always think youre something more
Is just around the corner

Talk, talk is cheap
Give me your word you can keep
You can keep
Cause I’m halfway gone and Im on my way
And Im feeling, feelin feelin this way
Cause youre halfway in but dont take too long
Cause Im halfway gone, Im halfway gone

If you want me out, then Im on my way
And Im feelin, feelin feelin this way
Cause youre halfway in, but dont take too long
Cause Im halfway gone, Im halfway gone
Im halfway gone, Im halfway gone
Wohoww wohoww
Now Im halfway gone, Im halfway gone

Dont take too long, dont take too long
Wohoww wohoww
Cause Im on my way
If you take too long
Wohoww wohoww
Cause Im halfway gone and Im on way
And Im feeling, feelin feelin this way
Cause youre halfway in but dont take too long
Cause Im halfway gone, Im halfway gone

If you want me out, then Im on my way
And Im feelin , feelin feelin this way
Cause youre halfway in, but dont take too long
Cause Im halfway gone, Im halfway gone
Wohoww wohoww
Cause Im halfway gone, yeah Im halfway gone
Wohoww wohoww
Cause Im halfway gone, yeah Im halfway gone

Peace & love,

Lewis

Reviewing the complexity of the inferiority apathy.

2010-04-17T11:18:00.003+08:00

"Only from afar can I stare,

At the the beautiful image beyond compare.

My heart at times end up in warfare,

Such that I contemplate if I should take the dare.

They say patience in a man is rare,

But for love I'm afraid it's something I've got to bear.

I wonder how many times my heart have to tear,

Before I find my other pair.

You can kill me for all I care,

Cause I never once thought love was fair."

- Me

Goo Goo Dolls - Better Days

Just close your eyes and listen, it's one of those songs.

Sometimes in life, you wished you were someone else.

That you were that person who gets good grades.

That you were that person who gets a wonderful relationship.

That you were that person who gets good looks.

That you were that person who gets everyone talking about him.

Sometimes in life, you wished you were not you.

That you were not that person who did badly for his exams.

That you were not that person who tries as hard as he may but always seem to fail to attract the opposite sex.

That you were not that person who isn't blessed with good looks.

That you were not that person who is overshadowed by his good looking friends.

Sometimes in life, you just want to feel loved.

Sometimes in life, you just want to be known.

Sometimes in life, you just want to feel not so alone.

Sometimes in life, you just want to go to NUS/NTU/SMU.

Sometimes in life, you just want to be good looking.

Sometimes in life, you just want to be tall.

Sometimes in life, you just want to kill yourself.

That "sometimes",

Is now.

Peace & love,

Lewis

2010-04-10T00:18:00.003+08:00

Loser.

Peace & love,

Lewis

Thank God.

2010-02-16T01:06:00.003+08:00

When things do not go your way,

And you're left in dismay,
When everything's not okay,
And you start to pray,

When troubles enter the fray,
And you inevitably stray,
When you go through everyday,
Feeling tired of the smiles you have to portray,

I just want to say,
There's always a price one has to pay,
With choices they have to weigh,
Just to see their problems slowly fade away.

Even when your sky is grey,
And you feel like you're God's sitting prey,
Don't give up halfway,
Be strong come what may.

I know this may sound cliche,
But I'll be here to try to brighten up your day,
If you give me the chance today."

- Me

Dear Lewis,

You've got to know this. You've got to start having confidence in yourself.

I know whenever you look into her eyes, you feel small.

You feel inferior.

But somehow, you can't seem to look away.

It's like a small little boy oogling an ice cream cone from afar, him knowing he can never have it but dream so much of gaining it.

I know you think you've got nothing to offer, no looks, no talents, not even the basic average height.

You stammer in front of her.

You drop your popcorn all over the seat.

You have no idea what you're going to say next.

She talks about your past and what you've done.

You regret for a moment, but regret no longer.

For you know for sure, you've grown from it.

You've changed from it.

She might say all the negative points about herself, but truth is, you don't mind.

You know human beings are never perfect.

You know everyone has flaws.

And you know you accept her flaws.

All you're asking for is a chance to woo, not even to get get into a relationship.

But a chance to woo.

You see through her iron body and realise she's like toufu.

Sturdy on the outside but soft on the inside.

Afraid she is of another heartbreak.

You know how tough it'd be.

To appease her.

It's like David against Goliath.

But you remain faithful.

And I believe that faithfulness, reaps good harvest.

Whether tangible, or intangible.

This is all I have to say.

Peace and love,

Lewis.

Nick Jonas & The Administration - Who I Am

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I want to break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

Nothing makes sense, nothing makes sense anymore
Nothing is right, nothing is right when your gone.
I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I want to break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

Nothing makes sense, nothing makes sense anymore
Nothing is right, nothing is right when you're gone
I'm losing my breath, I'm losing my right to be wrong
I'm frightened to death, I'm frightened that I won't be strong

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

I'm shaking it off, I'm shaking off all of the pain.
Breaking my heart, breaking my heart once again

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

Yeah, who I am.

Peace & love,

Lewis

Letting go is my life, I'll be on my way.

2009-10-28T23:31:00.002+08:00

"As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me.
The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect.
They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind.
They understand the power of letting go.

Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break.
Now is not the time for you to be strong, Julia, or you, too, will break."
- Julia Butterfly Hill

Armor For Sleep - Kind Of Perfect

Can I just be something,
Somewhere in your room,
That you won't notice.

Maybe I'll be paper,
Or books thrown on your floor,
Move me when you want to.

I'll live where you put me,
In your VCR,
If I become a cassette.

Or on top of your computer,
If that's where I would fit,
Then so be it.

But things can't be perfect,
All the time, that I know.
Sometimes we just have to let some things go.

I will not say one word,
I'll just hang around,
I won't annoy you at all.

When you move out I'll stay,
Until I'm thrown away,
But then it won't matter.

Things can't be perfect,
All the time, that I know.
Sometimes we just have to let some things go.

Because things can't be perfect,
All the time, that I know.
Sometimes we just have to let some things go.

I promise to stop now,
To stop now.
I promise to stop now,
To stop now.

But things can't be perfect,
All the time, that I know.
Sometimes we just have to let some things go.

Things can't be perfect,
All the time, that I know.
Sometimes we just have to let some things go.

Letting go is my life,
I'll be on my way..

Peace & love,
Lewis

Said he'd seen my enemy, said he looked just like me.

2009-10-23T00:26:00.000+08:00

Before saying my bit, here's a video I hope most of you would take the time to watch.
Especially those who failed their promotional examinations, or just need a sense of motivation to keep going. Don't give up.
"You can't beat the grim reaper by not dying. You beat the reaper by living well." - Dr. Randy Paush

"Even though you may not appreciate,
The concern I have for you will not depreciate.
And one day you will know,
That even when your sun stops to glow,
I'll be your shelter,
And make sure to pick you up whenever you falter."
- Me

They all tell me it's not worth it.
I tell them I know.
And I do know.
But, there's just a tiny part of me that says,
I'm not worth her.

I'm tired of this game.
I'm going to remain silent.
For the moment.

James Blunt - Same Mistake (Boyce Avenue Acoustic Cover)

So while I'm turning in my sheets
And once again I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street
Look at the stars beneath my feet
Remember rights that I did wrong
So here I go

Uhuuuu uhuuuu uhuuuu

And so I sent some men to fight
And one came back at dead of night
Said he'd seen my enemy
Said he looked just like me
So I set out to cut myself
And here I go

Uhuuuu uhuuuu uhuuuu

I'm not calling for a second chance
I'm screaming at the top of my voice
Give me reason, but don't give me choice
Cause I'll just make the same mistake again

Uhuuuu

And maybe someday we will meet
And maybe talk but not just speak
Don't buy the promises cause
There are no promises I keep
And my reflection troubles me
So here I go

Uhuuuu uhuuuu uhuuuu

I'm not calling for a second chance
I'm screaming at the top of my voice
Give me reason, but don't give me choice
Cause I'll just make the same mistake

I'm not calling for a second chance
I'm screaming at the top of my voice
Give me reason, but don't give me choice
Cause I'll just make the same mistake again

Uhuuuu uhuuuu uhuuuu

Peace & love,
Lewis

Paint Me In Your Sunshine.

2009-10-04T03:23:00.001+08:00

Dudley asked me the other day, "Why her?"
I answered him, "I seriously don't know.
"She wasn't supposed to be the person I thought I'd want to be with. Not the type of girl I'd ever thought to consider." I continued.
Then I looked at him and paused for a while.
"I seriously don't know why." I said thereafter laughing at myself.

Isn't this bullshit so confusing.
This thing we call "love".
Screw it.
It kills people.
It killed me.
It is killing me.
Talk about "Once bitten, twice shy. Thrice bitten you can go and die!"
Let me count: "One...two...three...four.... Oh dang, I should be dead."

And why do I even bother when I took so much trouble to get it, and she chucks it aside.
Why do I even bother...

Despite all that, I still question, "Is she the one?"

From the clip,
"Fine. Fine, take it. Because my head is filled with questions and I can assure you no answer to any one of them has ever brought me one iota of happiness. Except for one. The one. The only question I've ever wanted an answer to - is she the one? The answer bloody well isn't forty-two, it's yes. Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashedly yes. And for one week, one week in my sad little blip of an existence, it made me happy."

Marie Digby - Paint Me In Your Sunshine (Acoustic)

Paint me in your sunshine
Wake my sleepy eyes
Round me in your comfort
Stay with me for all of time

Reach your hand,
I'll follow
Darken clouds for your rays of hope

So paint me in your sunshine
Walk with me, stay by my side
Fill my head with stories
For love and war and glory

Reach your hand,
I'll follow
Light the path that will lead me home

Oh, oh, Home
Oh, oh, Home

One day the world will grow colder
Everything we've come to cherish crumbles
And only then will we turn back and remember your glow

Paint me in your sunshine
Leave the part of you behind
Tell me where I'll find you
And send me off to another day
Till we meet tomorrow

Reach your hand,
I'll follow
Hold me close till the day that I grow old

Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Mm, Hmm, Hmm, Hmm
Mm, Hmm, Hmm, Hmm

Peace & love,
Lewis

This is the correlation of salvation & love.

2009-09-12T11:43:00.002+08:00

The clock is ticking;
Time is running.
My mind is swirling,
But other than you, I think of nothing.

Directions I must choose,
With a whole lot for me to lose.
But losing itself is nothing much,
Cause all I want is to feel your touch.

Examinations may pull me down,
But I'll not stand to see myself drown.
So push forth I shall go,
Till there is nothing left to show.

Everything may go against me,
But I'll wait till the end to see.

- Me

Even in my most unstable state, I care for you.

Anberlin - The Unwinding Cable Car

Your motives unstable you're like an unwinding cable car
Listening for voices, but it's the choices that make us who we are
Go your own way, even seasons have changed just burn those new leaves over
So self-absorbed you've seemed to ignore the prayers that have already come about

This is the correlation of salvation and love
Don't drop your arms
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in

La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la

Backing away from the problem of pain you never had a home
You've been misguided, you're hiding in shadows for so very long
Don't you believe that you've been deceived? that you're no better than...
The hair in your eyes, it never disguised what you're really thinking of

This is the correlation of salvation and love
Don't drop your arms
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in

This is the correlation of salvation and love
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
With quiet words I'll lead you in

You're so brilliant, don't soon forget
You're so brilliant, grace marks your heart
You're so brilliant, don't soon forget
You're so brilliant, grace marks your heart
You're so brilliant (This is the correlation)
Don't soon forget (Between salvation and love, don't drop your arms)
You're so brilliant (I'll guard your heart)
Grace marked your heart (With quiet words I'll lead you in and out of the dark)

La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la
Don't drop your arms
La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la

This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I'll lead you in

This is the correlation of salvation and love (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
(Don't drop your arms)
Don't drop your arms, I'll guard your heart (La lalalala, la la la, la lala, la)
With quiet words I'll lead you in

Peace & love,
Lewis

Reach out your hand.

2009-09-02T23:13:00.004+08:00

God Speaks

"As the night sets in,
You wish you could get out of this din.
You think about your troubles,
Look back at your fumbles.

The tears start to flow down,
But you do not make a sound.
You fake a smile,
Just to escape for a while.

You feel like nobody understands you,
And it's just hopeless dreams you wish to pursue.
You try to ease the tension,
By seeking divine intervention.

You try your best,
But somehow still fail every single test.
You question Me,
And hope that your pain I can see.

I just want to say,
That I can hear you pray.
And I kept your every single tear,
In a jar I hold so dear.

Keep holding on,
And pretty soon all your pain will be gone.
Even when it seems I'm not there,
I hope you know that I am aware.

And one day you will know,
That even when your sun stops to glow,
I will be your shelter,
And pick you up whenever you falter."

- Me

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me."
- Revelations 3:20

Hold on my friends (:

Casting Crowns - Voice Of Truth

Oh,what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You'll never win."

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
To have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
Of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
My name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
You'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The Voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the Voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are the Voice of truth

Peace & love,
Lewis

Had enough.

2009-09-01T00:05:00.002+08:00

I seriously had enough.
I know this is one-way traffic.

Backstreet Boys - Quit Playing Game With My Heart

Baby, oh

Even in my heart I see
You're not bein' true to me
Deep within my soul I feel
Nothing's like it used to be

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
Quit playin' games with my heart

Chorus:
Quit playin' games with my heart
Before you tear us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I should've known from the start
You know you got to stop (from my heart)
You're tearing us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart

I live my life the way
To keep you comin' back to me
Everything I do is for you
So what is it that you can't see

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
You better quit playin' games with my heart

Chorus:
Quit playin' games with my heart
Before you tear us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I should've known from the start
You know you got to stop (from my heart)
You're tearing us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games

Bridge:
~~Baby, baby the love that we had was so strong~~
Don't leave me hangin' here forever
Oh baby, baby this is not right, let's stop this tonight

Baby, (oh) quit playin' games
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na
na,na,na,na,na,na, baby
na,na,na,na,na,na

Sometimes I wish I could
Turn back time, impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
Quit playin' games with my heart

Chorus:
Quit playin' games with my heart
Before you tear us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart
I should've known from the start
You know you got to stop (from my heart)
You're tearing us apart (my heart)
Quit playin' games with my heart

Quit playin' games with my heart
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na
na,na,na,na,na,na, baby
na,na,na,na,na,na

Quit playin' games with my heart
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na (my heart)
na,na,na,na,na,na, baby (my heart)

With my heart

Peace & love,
Lewis

Keep Holding On.

2009-08-26T23:38:00.005+08:00

"When things do not go your way,
And you're left in dismay,
When everything's not okay,
And you start to pray,

When troubles enter the fray,
And you inevitably stray,
When you go through everyday,
Feeling tired of the smiles you have to portray,

I just want to say,
There's always a price one has to pay,
With choices they have to weigh,
Just to see their problems slowly fade away.

Even when your sky is grey,
And you feel like you're God's sitting prey,
Don't give up halfway,
Be strong come what may.

I know this may sound cliche,
But I'll be here to try to brighten up your day,
If you give me the chance today."

- Me

This is for all my friends, especially one, and my brothers going through this tough period.
You're not alone.
You're never alone (:

Boyce Avenue - Keep Holding On (Avril Lavigne Acoustic Cover)

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know i'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go you know i won't give in
No I won't give in.

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say, nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away i wish you were here
Before it's too late this could all disappear
Before the doors close, and it comes to an end
But with you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend
Yeah yeah

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say, nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Peace and love,
Lewis

The forgotten.

2009-08-10T00:54:00.002+08:00

You caught me by surprise,
As it was during the time when I could not rise.
I was kept down from my previous experience,
Still unable to shake off the occurrence.

I prayed for a miracle,
Hoping not to receive something which is satirical.
Then there you were,
Beckoning me out of the blur.

Beautiful you are,
With no other human being on par.
Special you are,
Like the brightest ever shinning star.

Though you may not agree,
You are to me.
But afraid I am,
Knowing this is no tinker's damn.

Giving too much may not be the best choice,
But I just want to see you in rejoice.
Strange that this looks so familiar,
Yet feels so peculiar.

Perhaps it may be one-way traffic,
But it may not be all so tenebrific.
Because when you smile,
It makes it all worthwhile.

I may be a fool,
And never be cool.
I may be small,
And never tall.

But one thing's for certain,
And not one that you can draw the iron curtain.
Is that you're lingering in my mind,
And it's not something I can unbind.
- Me

Michael Jackson - You Are Not Alone

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone

All alone
Why, oh

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
So forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Then something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
And you are not alone

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there

You are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone

Peace and love,
Lewis

Love & have no regrets.

2009-07-17T00:25:00.005+08:00

"For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace."
- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

She was the only creature in the house who truly understood me.
She was there when I was down.
She was there when I needed someone to listen.
And somehow, she always made things feel better.

She had that look in her eyes.
The kind of look that was genuine.
The kind of look that showed she was listening.
And after I spoke, she would always kiss me.
Be it on my feet or in my palms, she always does.

The love I showed was inconsistent, but the love she showed was always there.
When we were sleeping in the comfort of our beds during a rainy night, she would be alone in her cage fighting off the cold wind.
Sometimes, she had to fight off the stray cats who climb over our walls and try to sneak into the house.

Getting to roam around the house was a luxury to her, cause her hair falls off easily.
But whenever she does, she would run up to anyone and kiss that person and lie on the floor afterward, hoping for a rub in her tummy.

I tried to redeem myself to her during her last few days.
But it wasn't enough.
Nothing was enough.
She breathed her last breath while I was sleeping in my bed.

I miss her.
And I love her.

Rest in peace my dear.

The first and last picture of Princess: 2000-2009
Puff Daddy - I'll Be Missing You

Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track and you locked the flow
So far from hanging on the block for dough
Notorious they got to know that life ain't always what it seems to be
Words can't express what you mean to me
Even though you're gone, we still a team
Through your family I'll fulfil dreams

In the future can't wait to see if you open up the gates for me
Reminisce sometime the night they took my friend
Try to black it out but it plays again
When it's real, feelin's hard to conceal
Can't imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath,
I know your still livin' your live after death

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day, Every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you

Its kinda hard with you not around
I know you're in Heaven smiling down
Watchin' us while we pray for you
Everyday we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is were I keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe

My thoughts Big, I just can't define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us and a six, shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me take in flicks
Make a hit, stages they receive you on
Still can't believe you're gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you're still livin' your life after death

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day, Every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you

Somebody tell me why
On that morning, when this life is over
I know
I'll see your face
Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move i make
Every single day
I miss you

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day, Every time I pray
I'll be missing you

Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day, Every time I pray
I'll be missing you

Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day, Every time I pray
I'll be missing you

Thinking of the day
When you went away...(fade)

And I regret not loving you more,
Peace and love,
Lewis

Emptiness fills the void in my heart.

2009-06-28T22:45:00.004+08:00

Professor: "Part of the problem, is that everyone is on such a hurry. People haven't found meaning in their lives, so they're running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running."

Student: "And once you start running, it's hard to slow yourself down."

Professor: "Not so hard,"

Professor: "Do you know what I do when someone wants to get ahead of me in traffic?"

Professor: "I would raise my hand, as if I was going to make a negative gesture, and then I would wave and smile."

Professor: "Instead of giving them the finger, you let them go, and you smile. And you know what?"

Professor: "A lot of times they smiled back."
- The Last Lecture

Rather than speaking in words, a video shall summarise my feelings.

But she's happy, so that's all that matters.
I shall move on now.
And really move on.
It's gonna be tough, but I have no choice but to do so.

Full force A level now.
I shall busy myself to keep myself from thinking.
Do my best and leave the rest up to God.
Although, I already think I'm condemned.

P.S. H1N1, please strike me.

Noah And The Whale - Second Lover

Oh, and when will our heartbeats fall into line.
And the click-clack of our boot heels beat out the same time
Oh, and when will your hand find itself in mine?
Oh, and when will your hand find itself in mine?

And though I don't know your real name
Your real age, or your shoe size
I will leave this bedroom chair
And this keyboard behind

And I will love you in reality and dreams
And I will love you in reality and dreams

And though it kills me to know
That when we are through
You go to your real lover
Who'll put real kisses on you

Oh well, an ex is about the best that I can do
Oh well, an ex is about the best that I can do

And so this lonely, lonely hull
Has no use left for living
After finding her love
In a heart so unpermitting

And I will die and never ever hold your hand
And I will die and never ever hold your hand

But I'll kiss my lips and I'll blow it to you
It'll be the last thing that I ever do
And wherever you go and whatever you do
There's a man underground that will always love you

Oh, wherever you go and whatever you do
There's a man underground that will always love you

Wherever you go and whatever you do
There's a man underground that will always love you

And I guess this is goodbye,
Peace and love,
Lewis

2009-06-25T12:09:00.002+08:00

"Only from afar can I stare,
At the the beautiful image beyond compare.
My heart at times end up in warfare,
Such that I contemplate if I should take the dare.

They say patience in a man is rare,
But for love I'm afraid it's something I've got to bear.
I wonder how many times my heart have to tear,
Before I find my other pair.
You can kill me for all I care,
Cause I never once thought love was fair."
- Me

I'm getting better people.
Thanks for all the concern.
Right now, I'm currently in what physicists call "metastable states".
Don't blame me, the physics lecture book is right in front of me (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!)

Metastable states: Excited states whereby the mean life is much longer than that in spontaneous state.

What the hell?! This my friends, is another one of those useless theories that MOE want us to learn.
Anyway, last night was absolute mayhem!
In summary: Bee hoon, curry, beer, cheesdos, absolute vodka mango, raspberry, coffee, Rockband, Wimbledon tennis, beer, Raging Rabbits! (check out the videos on facebook), beer, mahjong, more Raging Rabbits!, disgusting 1/2 graveyard concocted by Chang, acoustic guitar, piano, more beer, more Rockband, Guitarhero, physical wrestling, taupoks, french fries, more beer, attempted Pukka ice cream, McDonald's ice cream, talk, Apocolypto, Whisper.

Well, back to reality and studies.
It was fun while it lasted.

P.S. Noah and the Whale rocks! And, I still do think of you.

Noah and the Whale - 2 Atoms In A Molecule

Last night, I had a dream
We were inseparably entwined
Like a piece of rope made out of two pieces of vine
Held together, holding each other
With no one else in mind
Like two atoms in a molecule
Inseparably combined

But then I woke from the dream
To realise I was alone
A tragic event, I must admit
But let's not be overblown
I'm not trying to write a love song
Just a sad, pathetic moan
And maybe I just need change
Maybe I just need a new cologne

But now I look at love
Like being stabbed in the heart
You torture each other from day to day
And then one day you part
Most of the time it's misery
But there's some joy at the start
And for that, I'd say it's worth it
Just as you play the shortest sharp on me

And if love is just a game
Then how come it's no fun?
If love is just a game
How come I've never won?
I guess maybe it's possible I might be playing it wrong
And that's why every time I roll the dice
I always come undone

And I know you'll never see this, so,
Peace and love,
Lewis

There's more to this I know.

2009-06-21T11:27:00.003+08:00

When I think about you,
I wished you could see,
Just how beautiful you are to me.

When I think about you,
I wished you could hear,
The words I'd say to erase all your fears.

When I think about you,
I wished you could feel,
The way you wanted to just to be so real.

When I think about you,
I wished you would pardon this fool,
And hopefully one day you might think about me too.
- Me

I'm sorry folks.
All these will inevitably go down to nothing.
So why am I still doing all these?
I
Don't
Know.

P.S. I do not enjoy emo love songs people! I am an acoustic man.

Saosin - You're Not Alone

It's just like him
To wander off in the evergreen park
Slowly searching
For any sign of the ones he used to love
He says he's got nothing left to live for
(He says he's got nothing left)
And this time I think you'll know

You're not alone
There's more to this I know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

She's just like him
Spoiled rotten, confused by the lies shes been fed
She's searching for no one (but herself)
Her eyes turn to green and she seems to be happy that she is hurt
And this time I think you'll know

You're not alone
There is more to this I know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

You're not alone
There is more to this i know
You can make it out

(There is more to know)

We're not alone
There is more to this i know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

(So tell them)

You're not alone
There is more to this i know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

You're not alone
There is more to this i know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

You're not alone
You're not, you're not alone

And I know you'll never see these, so,
Peace and love,
Lewis

There's nothing more without you, without you here.

2009-06-17T23:45:00.000+08:00

"I couldn't explained the beating of my heart,
The moment I saw you right from the start.
I never did thought it would last this long,
Ever since I found out that this was wrong.

I don't know why I just can't seem to move away,
Even though I know it'll hurt me more this way.
There's just something about you that keeps me coming back,
So I hope you'd cut me some slack.

I never expected anything out of this,
Knowing you're happy is already the bliss.
And if there's one thing I'd want you to know,
It'd be that I'll be here for you; my body & my soul."
- Me

Well, I tell myself let go.
And I couldn't let go.
I tell myself again, to let go.
And again, I couldn't let go.

My friends tell me to let go.
I tell them I already let go.
Then I tell them I have not.
My friends tell me again, to let go.
Again, I Tell them I already let go.
Then again, I tell them I have not.

Talk about life being compared to a roulette wheel.

This holiday, studying ratio to playing ratio, 1:3.
Drinking ratio to playing ratio, 1:2.
Screwed ratio to salvation ratio, 1 mole:1.

Boyce Avenue - Without You Here (Goo Goo Dolls Cover)

Your love's a gathered storm I chased across the sky
A moment in your arms became the reason why
And you're still the only light that fills the emptiness
The only one I need until my dying breath
And I would give you everything just to
Feel your open arms
And I'm not sure I believe anything I feel

And now, now that you're near
There's nothing more without you
Without you here

And I'm trying to believe
In things that I don't know
The turning of the world
The color of your soul
That love could kill the pain
Truth is never vain
It turns strangers into lovers
And enemies to brothers
Just say you understand
I never had this planned

And now, now that you're near
There's nothing more without you
Without you here
Without you here
There's nothing more without you
Without you here

My head lies to my heart
And my heart it still believes
It seems the ones who love us are the ones
That we deceive
But you're changing everything
You're changing everything in me

And now, now that you're near
There's nothing more without you
Without you here

And I know you'd never see this, so,
Peace and love,
Lewis

I was waiting for an invitation. It was hard to find.

2009-06-16T05:00:00.002+08:00

Hey girl, hey girl.
So small, yet so strong.

Hey angel, hey angel.
So kind, yet so beautiful.

Hey devil, hey devil.
So cold, yet so influencing.

Hey you, hey you.
So angelic, yet so devilish.
- Me

It's 5am and I can't sleep.
It's 5am and I'm thinking.
It's 5:01am and I still can't sleep.
It's 5:01am and I'm still thinking.
It's 5:02am and I really stil can't sleep.
It's 5:02am and I'm really still thinking.
It's 5:03am and it's still feels like 5am.

Fastball - Out Of My Head

Sometimes I feel
Like I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of possibility
However it may roll
Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know there's always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say

Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don't matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you're sad then its time you spoke up too

Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an indication
It was hard to find
Don't matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you're sad then its time you spoke up too

Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an invitation
It was hard to find
Don't matter what I say only what I do
I never mean to do bad things to you
So quiet but I finally woke up
If you're sad
Then its time you spoke up
Too

Peace and love,
Lewis

I'm blind and waiting for you.

2009-06-10T23:17:00.003+08:00

"Woe to those who yearn and chase.
Woe to those who run and still lack pace.

Woe to those who give and take.
Woe to those who's smiles are fake.

Woe to those who are in love.
Woe to those who kill the doves.

Woe to me.
For being attracted to thee."
- Me

"Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence."

- Edmond and Jules de Goncourt

It's just empty.
My head, my heart and my stomach.
All empty.

I miss you.

Goo Goo Dolls - Big Machine

Ecstasy is all you need,
Living in the big machine,
Now.
Oh you're so vain.
Now your world is way too fast.
Nothing's real and nothing lasts,
And I'm aware.
I'm in love but you don't care.

Turn your anger into lust,
I'm still here but you don't trust at all,
And I'll be waiting.

Heaven, sex and loneliness,
Take what's yours and leave the rest so I'll survive.
God it's good to be alive.

And I'm torn in pieces,
I'm blind and waiting for,
My heart is reeling,
I'm blind and waiting for you.

Still in love with all your sins,
Where you stop and I'll begin,
And I'll,
I'll be waiting.
Living like a house on fire,
What you fear is your desire.
It's hard to deal,
I still love the way you feel.

Now this angry little girl,
Drowning in this petty world,
And I'm,
Who you run to.
Swallow all your bitter pills,
That's what makes you beautiful.
You're all or naught,
I don't need what you ain't got.

And I'm torn in pieces,
I'm blind and waiting for,
My heart is reeling,
I'm blind and waiting for you.

I'm blind and waiting for you.
I'm blind and waiting for you,
And I can't believe it's coming true,
God it's good to be alive.
I'm still here and waiting for you,
And I can't believe it's coming true.
I'm blind and waiting for you...

Peace and love,
Lewis

2009-06-03T23:33:00.003+08:00

"Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs. Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes. Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, a choking gall and a preserving sweet."
- William Shakespeare

I recounted the number of times I spent with you,
And although it only accounted to just three brief moments,
I missed every one of them.
Cause when I'm that close to you, I can feel that I'm alive.
Even though it was only three, those moments could last me for eternity.
I missed those times.
I miss your smile.
I miss your voice.
I miss...you.

Tal Bachman - She's So High Above Me

She's blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silly cone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound

But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen

Yeah, hey

'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me

Dadadadada

First class a fancy free
She's high society
She's got the best of everything

What could a guy like me ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be, why should I even bother?

'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me

She calls to speak to me
I freeze immediately
'Cause what she says sounds so unreal

'Cause somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen

'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me

Movie: Loser! (2000)
Young and sheltered Paul leaves his Midwestern town to attend New York University, but he is frustrated by the antipathy of his new roommates, who instantly brand him a loser and conspire to drive him from the dorm. His spirits are bolstered when he catches sight of beautiful co-ed Dora, but his efforts at courtship are stymied by her prurient interest in Professor Alcott. Paul and Dora grow closer through commiseration, however, as each grows tired of being pushed around.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Leaving me with nothing but a dead connection.

2009-05-30T12:47:00.007+08:00

"Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that"
- Michael Leunig

I just want to say, I hate mirrors.
The image I see in them just disappoints me most of the times.
But who am I to say?
What can I do?
Nothing.

Jealous and/or envy?
Well, Jealousy is wishing you had something you used to have.
Whereas envy is wishing you have something you never had.
I would say then, both.

Rooster - Deep And Meaningless

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

Song Review:
"I think this song has hidden meanings which arn't shown from first lisning to it. As you continue to listen to the song, (OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!! :D) you hear the desperation in the singers voice. I think this one line sums up the whole song:
'You can hear in my tone of voice, it's just a lie.'"
- Anonymous

Peace and love,
Lewis

A thousand other boys could never reach you. How could I have been the one?

2009-05-27T21:32:00.004+08:00

"If you have it [Love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have."
- Sir James M. Barrie

It's difficult having to shrug someone off your mind.
It's difficult to see how much things have changed.
It's difficult to know you're so near, yet so far away.
And it's difficult to know, I never once stood a chance.

Goo Goo Dolls - Black Balloon

Baby's black balloon makes her fly
I almost fell into that hole in your life
And you're not thinking about tomorrow
'Cause you were the same as me
But on your knees

A thousand other boys could never reach you
How could I have been the one
I saw the world spin beneath you
And scatter like ice from the spoon
That was your womb

Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
Or are you someone's prayer

You know the lies they always told you
And the love you never knew
What's the things they never showed you
That swallowed the light from the sun
Inside your room

Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder
Or are you someone's prayer

And there's no time left for losin'
When you stand they fall

Comin' down the world turned over
And angels fall without you there
And I go on as you get colder

All because I'm
Comin' down the years turn over
And angels fall without you there
And I'll go and lead you home and
All because I'm
All because I'm
And I'll become
What you became to me

Song Review: Love
I think this song is about love in every sense of the word. In what ever way this song effected you is what the band wanted it to. But basically, just love. That's all we can ever do.
- Anonymous

Peace and love,
Lewis

Can't believe that I'm the fool again...actually, it's believable.

2009-05-23T01:33:00.000+08:00

Mother Teresa: The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.
Newton's 3rd Law: An action has an equal and opposite reaction.
"Move on Lewis, move on."
"I can't Lewis, I can't."

So here's my life in a summary now: Shit.
Yeah, and to make things worse, my exams are screwed.
Awesome...

Westlife - Fool Again

Baby, I know the story,
I've seen the picture,
it's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret that you've been hiding?
And who's gonna take my place?
I should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Can't believe that I'm a fool again
I thought this love would never end,
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again,
And I who thought you were my friend,
How was I to know?
You never told me

Baby, you should've called me,
When you were lonely,
When you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me
Too many chances to show you
How much I care
Ooh, should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Can't believe that I'm a fool again
I thought this love would never end,
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again,
And I who thought you were my friend,
How was I to know?
You never told me

About the pain and the tears
Ooh, If I could,
I would, turn back the time
Ooh yeah I should have seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Can't believe that I'm a fool again
I thought this love would never end,
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again,
And I who thought you were my friend,
How was I to know?
You never told me

Peace and love,
Lewis

Love hurts. But sometimes it's a good hurt.

2009-05-11T23:28:00.004+08:00

The heart has reasons that reasons do not understand.
- Blaise Pascal

Today, the moment I heard that you were there, I knew it wasn't going to be a good sight.
I can't say I never saw this day coming, cause I did.
It just came so unexpectedly.
Such that I had no idea how to react.
All I could do was contain my sorrows inside of me and cry them out when I'm alone.
Moving on seems like the only feasible choice, but not yet.
I can't say move on and I move on.
Give me time.

But in the meantime, I'll still love.
Crazy?
Maybe.

Incubus - Love Hurts

Tonight we drink to youth
And holding fast to truth
I don't want to lose what I had as a boy
My heart still has a beat
But love is now a feat
(as common as a cold day in LA)

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts.....
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive.

I'm fettered and abused
Stand naked and accused
Should I surface this one man submarine
I only want the truth
So tonight we drink to youth
I'll never lose what I had as a boy

Sometimes when I'm alone, I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'Cause without love I won't survive

Love hurts, oh
Love hurts
Without love I won't survive
Love hurts, oh
Without love I won't survive

Peace and love,
Lewis

I'd take the fall.

2009-05-09T17:54:00.003+08:00

For You
I couldn't explain the beating of my heart,
The moment I saw you right from the start.
I never thought it would last this long,
Ever since after I found out this was wrong.

I just can't seem to go away,
Even though I know it would hurt me more this way.
There's just something about you that keeps me coming back,
So I hope you would cut me some slack.

I'm not expecting anything out of this,
All I hope is for you to find your peace.
If there's one thing I want you to know,
It'll that I'll always be here for you; my body & my soul.
- Me

And if I'd lose it all, I'd take the fall.

Backstreet Boys - Lose It All

Oh, no

Take what you need
Cause I can't hold my breath
Say what you feel
Cause I've got nothing left, oh

I made a promise to myself last night
I'm gonna keep it if it's wrong or right

Chorus:
And if I lose it all
There'd be nothing left to lose
And I would take the fall
Cause knowing you are out there
Breathing is so wonderful
It's a chance, I'd take even if I break
And I lose it all
If I lose it all

Would it matter anyway
Don't change a thing
You're perfect as you are
Time has a way
Time is all I've got

If my heart should shatter watching you
There'd be one less thing I'd have to prove

Chorus:
And if I lose it all
There'd be nothing left to lose
And I would take the fall
'Cause knowing you are out there
Breathing is so wonderful
It's a chance I'd take even if I break
And I lose it all
If I lose it all

Bridge:
Heaven will be waiting
When I fall into your open arms
I believe you'll find me there
You'll find me there

Chorus:
And if I lose it all
There'd be nothing left to lose
And I would take the fall (take the fall)
'Cause knowing you are out there
Breathing is so wonderful (yeah, yeah)
It's a chance, I'd take even if I break
And I lose it all
If I lose it all

And if I lose it all (ohh, oh, yeah)
There'd be nothing left to lose (nothin', and I would)
And I would take the fall
Cause knowing you are out there (knowin')
Breathing is so wonderful (so wonderful)
It's a chance I'll take even if I break
And I lose it all
If I lose it all

Would it matter anyway?

Peace and love,
Lewis

Love unconditionally.

2009-05-07T23:15:00.004+08:00

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give — which is everything
- Unknown

Just what is happiness?
This world as we know it, is dying.
Wars, droughts, famines.
People killing one another over greed.
It's sad, such that this world handed over to us by God is so torn up by our own actions.

However, God gave us love — the ability to see another person and your heart keeps pumping; the ability to miss someone even in the brightest of days.
This world may die, but love will survive.
Love is the common fiber of life, the flame that heats our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives.
It is our connection with God and to each other.

I can't say I like her, it'd be a lie because I do not know her close enough.
I can't say I love her, it'd be a bigger lie.
But I can say I have feelings for her.
I can say I'd show love to her.
And just to see her smiling and being healthy, is all I want for her to be.

Life may be shitty and messy for me, but that won't stop love.
With my hands held high into a sky so blue, as the ocean opens to swallow me, love wins.

Linkin Park - With Hands Held High

Turn my mike up louder I got to say something
Light weights step to the side when we come in

Feel it in your chest the syllables get pumping
People on the street they panic and start running

Words on loose leaf sheet complete coming
I jump in my mind and summon the rhyme, I'm dumping

Healing the blind I promise to let the sun in
Sick of the dark ways we march to the drumming

Jump when they tell us that they wanna see jumping
Fuck that I wanna see some fists pumping

Risk something, take back what's yours
Say something that you know they might attack you for

Cause I'm sick of being treated like I have before
Like it's stupid standing for what I'm standing for

Like this war's really just a different brand of war
Like it doesn't cater the rich and abandon poor

Like they understand you in the back of the jet
When you can't put gas in your tank

These fuckers are laughing their way to the bank and cashing the cheque
Asking you to have compassion and have some respect

For a leader so nervous in an obvious way
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
In their living room laughing like "what did he say?"

[Chorus:]
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen

In my living room watching but I am not laughing
Cause when it gets tense I know what might happen

World is cold the bold men take action
Have to react or get blown into fractions

Ten years old it's something to see
Another kid my age drugged under a jeep

Taken and bound and found later under a tree
I wonder if he had thought the next one could be me

Do you see the soldiers they're out today
They brush the dust from bullet proof vests away

It's ironic at times like this you pray
But a bomb blew the mosque up yesterday

There's bombs in the buses, bikes, roads
Inside your market, your shops, your clothes

My dad he's got a lot of fear I know
But enough pride inside not to let that show

My brother had a book he would hold with pride
A little red cover with a broken spine

On the back, he hand-wrote a quote inside
When the rich wage war it's the poor who die

Meanwhile, the leader just talks away
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
both scared and angry like "what did he say?"

[Chorus x6]

[x6]
With hands held high into the sky so blue,
As the ocean opens up to swallow you.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Even if it means taking the last train home.

2009-04-30T23:45:00.003+08:00

Love feels no burden,
Thinks nothing of trouble,
Attempts what is above its strength,
Pleads no excuse of impossibility...
It is therefore able to undertake all things,
And it completes many things,
And warrants them to take effect,
Where he who does not love would faint and lie down.
Love is watchful and sleeping, slumbereth not.
Though weary, it is not tired;
Though pressed, it is not straitened;
Though alarmed, it is not confounded...

- Thomas A. Kempis -

I've decided, boy friend or no boyfriend, I'm not gonna stop.
Even if it means a broken heart, I'd be more than willing.
The only thing I want to get out of this, is to see that sweet smile on your face.
In all honesty, that's really what I want and I'd do anything to get that.
I'm not going to hope for a miracle that you're unattached, and even if you're using me, I don't care.
Health and happiness is just what I want to get.

I'm not going to whine anymore, I'm not going to be called the "emo kid" any longer.
Dudley and Jerome are right, all I've gotta be is myself.
And so I've also decided to be Lewis and not someone who tries too hard.

I realized that I'd love for the moment.
Not for the future or anything, but for the moment.
Cause there are no rules on love.
It's just love.
I shouldn't worry about what will I get out of loving, I should just love.

What is love to me?
Love is sacrificing for the benefit of others.
So, to love or to be loved.
Which one will I pick?
I'd rather love than be loved because only then is when I'll experience love.

So we'll sing without a reason,
To ever fall in love
Even if it means taking the last train home.
(:

The Lostprophets - Last Train Home

One! Two! Three!

To every broken heart in here
Love was once a part, but now it's disappeared
She told me that it's all a part of the choices that your making
Even when you think you're right
You have to give to take

But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today

But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love

I wonder if you're listening
Picking up on the signals
Sent back from within
Sometimes it feels like I don't really know whats going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here

But there's still tomorrow
Forget the sorrow
And I can be on the last train home
Watch it pass the day
As it fades away
No more time to care
No more time, today

But we sing
If we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To ever fall in love

Well we sing if we're going nowhere
Yeah we sing if it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason to ever fall in love

But we sing
If we're going no where
Yeah we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing with out a reason to never fall in love
To never fall in love again

Peace and love,
Lewis

Here Without You.

2009-04-26T04:03:00.001+08:00

There is a story on the Greek Gods:
They were bored, so they invented human beings.
But they were still bored, so they invented love.
Then they weren't bored any longer.
So they decided to try love for themselves.
And finally, they invented laughter, so they can stand it.
- Feast of Love

It's 4.22AM in the morning and I can't sleep.
I don't know why, but I can't seem to shake these images out of my head.
Whenever I close my eyes, I see her.
At that moment, I'd open my eyes hoping that she was there.
And always, I lay there asking myself "Why?"

Why am I doing all these?
Why do I miss someone I hardly even know?
Why am I not fixing my life?

I walk around these days just being envious of my friends.
Just seeing the things going on in their lives, make me reflect about mine and how insignificant it can get.
I used to wish I was taller, good-looking, buff and smart.
So basically, I was asking for perfection.
And I never got it.
So I'd get disappointed with myself and frustrated with God.

And then I realised something.
No one can be perfect.
We all have imperfections, some more than the other.
And we're just constantly seeking for someone out there who'd see through these imperfections of ours.
God is never to blame.
Because if God hated us, He wouldn't had given such brave and strong hearts to fight this "love" that we talk about.

I told a friend the other day that the right guy would come to her someday.
She asked me when will he come.
I chuckled and said "I have no idea."
I mean, I am also waiting for the right girl.
And it's just so annoying when you assume that the person you like is the right person for you.
So you give and you give and wonder if your efforts will pay off.
But often times, it'd leave bleeding alone on the ground.
"So why are we fighting so hard for a person anyway?" she asked.
"That's love for you." I replied her.
I mean, we'll never know the true definition of love,
But to me, love is being able to sacrifice for another without the expectation of a return.

To me, love is to do anything to ensure happiness in your heart.
How I wish I can say this to you someday.

3 Doors Down - Here Without You

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl its only you and me

Peace and love,
Lewis

I'll praise You in this storm.

2009-03-31T23:14:00.003+08:00

Casting Crowns - Praise You In This Storm

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth .

I need a way out of this fall.
I'm desperate.
Nothing's turning out as I wanted it to be.
But through all of this.
I still know and acknowledge that there is a mighty God up there.
I just need to find Him.
Or He find me.
So while doing that, I'll praise Him in this storm.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Nobody wants to be the last one there.

2009-03-29T11:03:00.003+08:00

Nickleback - Gotta Be Somebody

This time, I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
'Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right, it's just like déjà vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
'Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
You never know, when it shows up, make sure you're holding on
'Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on
'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me, ohhh

Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

This week had been an emotional roller coaster to me.
Contrasting emotions all the way.
Missing friends who train with me.
People like Jerome, Anthony, Shawn, Andrew, Latif, Aaron, Jeremy and Wei Jie.
Somehow, the bench doesn't seem as fun as before.

Been fighting to try to impress.
Been fighting to try to excel.
Been fighting to try to be somebody.
But so far, all in vain.

My common test was crap as well due to the fact that I didn't really studied.
I'm tired of being the last one there.
Tried of being like a nobody.
People may not be able to see it, but I myself feel it.

Nationals tomorrow.
Probably won't even play a single minute.
But oh well, I'll be warming up the bench.

First-team to bench to last one picked.
What next?

I gotta be somebody.
I gotta keep fighting.
I gotta study.
I gotta chase that illusive dream.
I gotta know you.

This time, I stop to just wondering what it feels like.
And actually fight to feel it.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Just say you'll come and set me free.

2009-03-20T01:49:00.000+08:00

Coldplay - Til' Kingdom Come

One... two...
Steal my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time my time has come
Let me in unlock the door
I never felt this way before

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know which way I've come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone someone who hears
For you I've waited all these years

For you I'd wait 'Til Kingdom Come
Until my day my day is done
and say you'll come and set me free
just say you'll wait you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh I heard you sing
I wouldn't change a single thing

And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know what I've become

For you I'd wait 'Til kingdom come
Until my days my days are done
Say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait you'll wait for me

Just say you'll wait you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait you'll wait for me

Miss Ni was right.
I've got to come out.
The real me.

Don't matter how many people make fun of me.
Don't matter how many times I'll be hurt.
Sure I'll grow weary.
Sure I may even blog it out.
But I'll be better.
A better person.
A better footballer.
A better me.

I'm arriving.

Peace and love,
Lewis

I could believe more then. I could pretend more then.

2009-03-15T23:58:00.001+08:00

Two songs to basically sum up my birthday and my feelings during the Malacca trip.
For my birthday,

James Morrison - Once When I Was Little

I was the one, who would always jump in first
Didn't think twice to look behind
Got such a good feeling, just from playing in the dirt
Once, when I was little

We could build a rocket, fly to the moon
Leave Tuesday morning, and be back for noon
There wasn't nothing, nothing that we couldn't do
Once, when I was little umm
Once, when I was little

Yeah I could dream more then
Yeah I believed more then
That the world could only get better
Yeah I was free more then
I could pretend more then
That this life could only show me good times
Once, when I was little umm ohh lalala

There was a time when I trusted everyone
Yes I did
There was no place that I would not go oh no
Spend a day on the hillside next to the holly mo
Oh once, when I was little
Yea once, when I, I was little

Yeah I could dream more then
Yeah I believe more then
That this world could only get better
Yeah I was free more then
I could pretend more then
That this life could only show me good times
Once, when I was little

Used to feel so strong
Even when they tell me, tell me I was wrong
That I can't live in a magic world
Cause it's time for me to grow up
That I got to be like the rest of them
When I know there acting up ohh

I could believe more then yes I could
I could pretend more then
That this life could only get better
I could believe more then yes I could
I could pretend more then

That this world could only show me good times
Once, when I was little
When I was little

So here comes the next one, the next in line
Stay as young you can, for the longest time
Cause those days flew by
Like a breeze just passing through
Once, when I was little

AND
For the trip,

Lifehouse - From Where You Are

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you

So far away from where you are
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

Yeah I miss you
And I wish you were here

I feel the beating of your heart
I see the shadows of your face
Just know that wherever you are
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

I miss the years that were erased
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face
I miss all the little things
I never thought that they'd mean everything to me

Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

So far away from where you are
These miles have torn us world's apart
And I miss you
Yeah, I miss you
And I wish you were here

Special thanks to my soccer teammates for bringing me laughter and nearly raping me.
To Dudley, Benjamin, Anthony, Jason and Jerome for having dinner with me.
And to those who sent out messages of wishes to me.
Deeply appreciated.

So what now?

Peace and love,
Lewis

I swear it's you.

2009-03-13T00:20:00.003+08:00

You
Your eyes.
Your smile.
Seems to just leave me stuck in the moment.

Tongue-tied.
Confused.
Whenever you're close to me.

Hopeful.
Faithful.
That's why I'm not moving.

Retarded.
Suicidal.
That's what people think.

Flawfully perfect...
But taken.
That's what I think you are.

Lucky.
Hot.
That's what I think he is.

Cliche.
Repeat.
Like the one before.

Boy.
That's who I'll just be to you.

I'm turning eighteen in Malacca.
But like every year, I'm not exactly looking forward to my birthday.
I guess it just reminds me that I just wasted eighteen years of my life.
I want very much to fix my life; to be motivated.
But I just can't seem to.
Whenever I close my eyes, it's you I see.
And at the moment, a smile and a tear will come out.
I'm stuck in the past.
Stuck in fantasies.
Stuck on you.
Yet, I'm not even in your league.

OneRepublic - Won't Stop

[Verse 1]
Uh ohh
Now i stared at you
From across the room
Until both my eyes were faded
I was in a rush
I was out of luck
Now I'm so glad that I waited
Well you were almost there
Almost mine...yeah
They say love ain't fair
But I'm doing fine...

[Chorus]
Cause i swear it's you
I swear it's you
I swear it's you that I've waited for
I swear it's you
I swear it's you
I swear it's you that my heart beats for
And it isn't gonna stop
No it just won't stop
Uh oh oh
Yeah

[Verse 2]
Now you were fine by night
But when the morning light comes
Comfortable as rain on Sunday
And I'm a lucky soul
That holds your hand so tight
Hope you hear this one day
Don't fool yourself
This is my truth

[Chorus]
I swear it's you
I swear it's you
I swear it's you that i waited for
I swear it's you
I swear it's you
I swear it's you that my heart beats for
And it ain't gonna stop
It just won't stop

[Interlude]
You take this hand
You take this heart
Steal my bones
From 1000 miles apart
Feels so cold
Felt just like its ten shades of winter
And i need the sun
Ohh yeahh
Oh oh no no yeah yeah

[Chorus]
And i swear it's you
I swear you
I swear it's you that it waited for
I swear it's you
I swear its
I swear it's you that my heart beats for
I swear it's you
I swear it's you
I swear it's you that I've waited for
I swear it's you
I swear it's you
I swear it's you that my heart beats for
And it ain't gonna stop
It just won't stop
Heyy yeahh
It just won't stop
No no no no woahh yeah
I swear it's you
I swear it's you
Ohh yeah

If only...

Peace and love,
Lewis

Fighter.

2009-03-01T22:31:00.001+08:00

Peace and love,
Lewis

Miracle.

2009-02-28T22:37:00.003+08:00

Vertical Horizon - Miracle

Its taken much too long
to get it right
Would it be so wrong
to maybe find someone
A miracle

And all you really need
is everything you could never be
And so you'd give it all
for a miracle

Chorus:
Is there a trace
inside her face
of a lonely miracle?
And so you wait
and lie awake
for a lonely miracle

You never really know
what it is --
not until it goes
And if it comes again
it's a miracle

But what you miss is love
and everything below and up above
And could she bring it all --
a miracle?

Chorus (1x)

All you wanted was a
All you needed was a miracle
A miracle
And all you wanted was a
All you needed was a miracle
A miracle

Its taken so long
to get it right
Could it be so wrong
to maybe find someone
A miracle

Chorus (2x)

A miracle
A miracle

I've been letting everything in my life down for as long as I remember.
The people I wish not to ever let down , I let down.
Given chances, let it go to waste.
I'm failing in every area of my life.
Be it studies, be it relationships, be it soccer.
I'm tired of all these letting downs.
I want to be somebody and not just somebody who could be replaced so easily.
I'm closing to my birthday and it just reminds me of all the disappointments.

I'm wearing the SRJC badge, but I've been playing for my own pride.
It's time to humble myself.
It's time to step up.
It's time to be composed.
It's time to shine.

I need a miracle.
I'm counting on You.
I need to hear from You.
I need to experience You again.
Help me hear You won't You?

I need a miracle.
Please.

I dreamt of you 4 times last night and whenever I did, I would just wake up.
Hoping that you're there.
I know it's wrong, but I can't help it.
I just can't shake you off my head.
Why does it always have to be like that?

Peace and love,
Lewis

Having so much to say, and watching you walk away.

2009-02-15T10:35:00.004+08:00

Rascal Flatts - What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

As I listened to this song, I began to realise that leaving things unspoken can really hurt alot.
There was so much I wish I could've told her last year but didn't.
In the end, she left.
Not saying that had I said something she would've stayed, but at least I wouldn't be feeling the effects up till now.
Ah well, at least she's happier with him.

Moving on is so darn difficult.
Considering the fact that the scenario keeps repeating in my head.
I need a panadol for this long-termed condition.
Panadol come panadol.

Oh ya, Keith blurted out the words "...you'll never make it in life." to me.
Although it wasn't intentional, I kept thinking about it.
And I see the truth in those six words.
How painful it felt.

Will history repeat itself?
Hopefully no.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Run away, run away like a prodigal.

2009-02-15T10:14:00.002+08:00

OneRupublic - Prodigal (Pride and Prejudice 2005)

We say good-bye
I turn my back
Run away, run away
So predictable
Not far from here
You see me crack
Like a bone, like a bone
I'm so breakable

And I take everything from you
But you'll take anything
Won't you?

Run away, run away
Like a prodigal
Don't you wait for me
Don't you wait for me
So ashamed, so ashamed
But I need you so
And you wait for me
And you wait for me

I'm on the road
To who knows where?
Look ahead, not behind
I keep saying
There's no place to go
Where you're not there
On your rope, I hold tight
But it's freeing

And I take everything from you
But you'll take anything
Won't you?

Run away, run away
Like a prodigal
Don't you wait for me
Don't you wait for me
So ashamed, so ashamed
But I need you so
And you wait for me
And you wait for me

Everybody wants to be right
But only if it's not day light?
I keep trying to find my way back
My way back

Run away, run away
Like a prodigal
Don't you wait for me
Don't you wait for me
So ashamed, so ashamed
But I need you so
And you wait for me
And you wait for me

Runaway
Runaway
Runaway
From you
From you
From you

Peace and love,
Lewis

Maybe I'm just dreaming out loud, but until then, come home...

2009-02-13T22:44:00.003+08:00

OneRepublic - Come Home

[Verse 1]
Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I'm young
For speaking out of turn
There's someone I've been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They're in their own place trying to make it right
But I'm tired of justifying
So i say you'll..

[Chorus]
Come home
Come home
Cause I've been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I've ever known
So come home
Oooh

[Verse 2]
I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain't as half as bad
As they paint it to be
If all the sons
If all the daughters
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now..Yeahh
Well maybe I'm just dreaming out loud
Until then

[Chorus]
Come home
Come home
Cause I've been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I've ever known
Ever known
So come home
Oooh

[Interlude]
Everything i can't be
Is everything you should be
And that's why i need you here
Everything i can't be
Is everything you should be
And that's why i need you here
So hear this now

[Chorus]
Come home
Come home
Cause I've been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I've ever known
Ever known
So come home
Come home

So today wasn't a good day.
Being unappreciated,
Being blamed,
Being weak.
Thank God I survived the day.

Tomorrow's Valentine's Day.
Which made me reminisce on my past Valentine's Days.
Often filled with heartbreaks and disappointment.
And I realise a trend.
That I am always the only one giving the present to the person.
Neither have I once received a true Valentine's Day present nor gone on a Valentine's Day date.
I'm sick and tired of seeking.
Nothing good ever come out.

If only, whoever you are can come home to me.
I don't know who you might be,
But please come home.

Happy Valentine's Day people.
Enjoy it.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Reality of inferiority.

2009-02-12T21:09:00.003+08:00

There's a particular habit I have, which is imagining things.
Imagining the best case scenario of events only to realise, that they'll never come true.
Not only am I doing to my friends, I'm concurrently doing it to myself.
Often times I would picture myself as a handsome guy with an average height being able to confidently go up to someone and that person would notice me.
But never the case.
I would realise soon after, that it's not going to happen, and never will.

Truth is, I tried my best to love myself.
I really did.
And there will a period of time when I would.
But then soon after, I would get back to reality and feeling inferior again.

I love my friends.
Because often times, they would compliment me on things.
But I would feel good one moment, and awful the next.
Because the truth of the matter is, I am short.
There are times when I look at my friends and see just how awesome they look, not that I'm gay or anything, but I just feel so...envious.

And I hate it when girls say "height doesn't matter".
Because they're saying that just to console me when they do know that humanly speaking, appearance does matter.
And the truth of a matter is that I am not good looking either.

So I hate imagining things, because ultimately, they wouldn't come true.
And I would just be disappointed with myself.
Like I am now.

Stark truth of reality.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Change = Pain

2009-02-09T22:42:00.003+08:00

OneRepublic - All Fall Down

Step out the door and it feels like rain,
That's the sound (that's the sound) on your window pane.
Take to the streets but you can't ignore,
That's the sound (that's the sound) you're waiting for.

If ever your world starts crashing down,
Whenever your world starts crashing down...
Whenever your world starts crashing down...
That's when you find me.

Yeah,
God love your soul and your aching bones,
Take a breath, take a step, maybe down below.
Everyone's the same, Our fingers to our toes,
We just can't get a ride, But we're on the road.

If ever your world starts crashing down,
Whenever your world starts crashing down...
Whenever your world starts crashing down...
That's when you find me.

(Yeah)
Lost til you're found,
Swim 'til you drown,
Know that we all fall down.
Love 'til you hate,
Strong 'til you break,
Know that we all fall down.

If ever your world starts crashing down,
Whenever your world starts crashing down...
If ever your world starts crashing down,
That's when you'll find (find) me.

Lost 'til you're found,
Swim 'til you drown,
Know that we all fall down.
Love 'til you hate,
Strong 'til you break,
Know that we all fall down.

All fall down, we all fall down, all fall down....
We all fall down, all fall down, all fall down....

Lost 'til you're found,
Swim 'til you drown,
Know that we all fall down.
Love 'til you hate,
Strong 'til you break,
Know that we all fall down.

Change is such a pain.
But no pain, no gain.
I'm no longer the boy I used to be.
It's time to man up.
but along the way, I may fall again.
But know that we all fall down.

And pick ourselves up.
Just a glance of your face left me mesmerised.
Unfortunately, I'm not worthy.
Peace and love,
Lewis

Barely suviving has become my purpose.

2009-02-03T20:25:00.001+08:00

Lifehouse - Storm

How long have I been in this storm
So over aware by the ocean's shapeless form
Water is getting hard to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see You
Everything would be alright
If I see You
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into Your eyes
And everything will be alright
And everything will be alright

I know You didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see You
Everything would be alright
If I see You
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into Your eyes
And everything will be alright

And I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into Your eyes
And everything will be alright

Now everything is alright
Everything's alright

I need to fix my life.
In a hurry.
I'm going to show what I'm worth.
To everyone.
Especially myself.
It's not going to be easy.
But faith will see me through.

Faith will see me through.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Fix you, fix me.

2009-02-01T03:27:00.000+08:00

Coldplay - Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

I would just like to let the people out there know that despite all my sadness, I still love to help anyone in any way any time.
People may question me on trying to help others when I can't even help myself.
Well, I would answer that not everyone can help themselves.
Everyone needs anyone.
Someone who'll be there not to just give comments, but someone who'll be there to listen and walk with that person through whatever impending difficulties.

Would you rather be stuck with someone in a dark tunnel helping one another to find your way out, or you finding your way out alone while another person stands at the end of the tunnel shouting for you?

Allow me to fix you.
Then you can fix me.
Fix you, fix me.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Attempting to stay on that blood-stained pitch. Attempting.

2009-01-30T22:57:00.007+08:00

A lion's mane.
It's pride.
The saying goes, a lion without it's mane is nothing at all.
Right now, I feel like a lion who's mane is being shaved off completely.
Disintegrating.

A lion's roar.
It's toughness.
The saying goes, a lion roars to attract, scare away or to make its presence known to other felines around the perimeter.
Right now, I feel like a lion who's roar turned into a squeak.
Breaking.

It's like giving up on me.
And right now, I feel like giving up on myself.
No one may know how this feels and can just say things to cheer me up, but it's a feeling that can never be explained.
A man losing his pride.
A man realising his insignificance.

What's worse, losing something you once had or yearning to gain something you never had?
Both as bad, but I'd rather yearn than lose.

If only I could be who I can never be.
Without physical disadvantages.
Or with a stronger mental will.

Clearly it is that Man = Pride.
WIthout it, we're nothing at all.

I am nothing at all.

Peace and love,
Lewis

So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young.

2009-01-30T00:11:00.002+08:00

John Mayer - Stop This Train

No, I'm not colorblind
I know the world is black and white
I try to keep an open mind
But I just can't sleep on this tonight

Stop this train
I want to get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

Don't know how else to say it
I don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly, won't someone stop this train?

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game
To find a way to say that life has just begun

Had a talk with my old man
Said "help me understand"
He said "turn sixty-eight
You renegotiate"

"Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train"

Once in awhile, when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Till you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing

Stop this train
I want to get off
And go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I will never stop this train

The older I get, the more insignificant I find myself.
Today, I realised I lost myself.
Having no idea who I am any more.
Ill feelings developed as I stand alongside my friends, knowing about my physical disadvantages.
I lost it.
Myself and everything I used to be.

Please
Please
Please
Won't someone stop this train.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Are the details in the fabric, are the things that make you panic, are your thoughts results of static cling?

2009-01-26T21:18:00.005+08:00

Jason Mraz Feat. James Morrison - Details In The Fabric

Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
And everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything
Everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling (Go your own way)

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold

It's chinese new year.
And behind all the greetings, laughters and angpaos, I realise just how much I've been holding onto the past.
The events that happened last year, the pain I endured throughout the year, the heartbreaks I received.

Well, it's time to throw it all away and look forward to a better future.
Like I've told people a lot of times, let go of the past or else you'd just be running on that treadmill.
It's time for me to get onto the track.
Although there's no guarantee of what's in store for me, face it then I'll know.

To God be the glory.

Peace and love,
Lewis

I will follow you into the dark.

2009-01-25T23:43:00.004+08:00

Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark (Cover)

Love of mine some day you will die,
But I'll be close behind.
I'll follow you into the dark.

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white;
Just our hands clasped so tight,
Waiting for the hint of a spark.
If heaven and hell decide,
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs:

If there's no one beside you,
When your soul embarks;
Then I'll follow you into the dark.

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule,
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black,
And I held my tongue as she told me,
"Son, fear is the heart of love."
So I never went back.

If heaven and hell decide,
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs:

If there's no one beside you,
When your soul embarks;
Then I'll follow you into the dark.

You and me have seen everything to see;
From Bangkok to Calgary.
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down;
The time for sleep is now.
It's nothing to cry about,
'Cause we'll hold each other soon.
In the blackest of rooms.

If heaven and hell decide,
That they both are satisfied,
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs:

If there's no one beside you,
When your soul embarks;
Then I'll follow you into the dark.
Then I'll follow you into the dark.

Love.
Simply sweet.

I will follow you into the dark.

Peace and love,
Lewis

So I look in your direction, but you pay me no attention.

2009-01-25T02:08:00.003+08:00

Coldplay - Shiver

So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention, do you?
I know you don't listen to me,
'Cause you say you see straight through me,
Don't you?

But on and on,
From the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep,
I'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me,
I'll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you care

Oh, did you want me to change?
Well I'd change for good,
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
And I wanted to say

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver
I'll sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need you,
But you never even see me do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you?

But on and on,
From the moment I wake,
To the moment I sleep,
I'll be there by your side,
Just you try and stop me,
I'll be waiting in line,
Just to see if you care, if you care.

Did you want me to change?
Well I'd change for good,
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
And I wanted to say…

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver,
I'll sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you.
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah I'll always be waiting for you
For you, I will always be waiting
And it's you I see,
But you don't see me
And its you, I hear,
So loud and so clear
I sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you

So I look in your direction,
But you pay me no attention,
And you know how much I need you
But you never even see me

A need to improve.
A need to focus.
A need to study.
A need to love myself.
A need to love others.
A need to know you.
A need to move on...

Move on.

Peace and love,
Lewis

I'm running through the fire when there's nothing left to save.

2009-01-23T01:05:00.003+08:00

James Morrison Feat. Nelly Furtado - Broken Strings

[James Morrison]
Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again but you broke me
Now I can't feel anything

When I love you it's so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

Oh
It tears me up
I try to hold on but it hurts too much
I try to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh
The truth hurts and a lie's worse
How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

[Nelly Furtado]

Oh
What are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

[Both]
Running back through the fire when there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late

Oh
It tears me up
I try to hold on but it hurts too much
I try to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay

You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh
The truth hurts and a lie's worse
How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

But we're running through the fire when there's nothing left to save
It's like chasing the very last train when we both know it's too late

[Nelly Furtado]
Too late

[Both]
You can't play on broken strings
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel
I cant tell you something that ain't real

Well truth hurts and a lie's worse
How can I give anymore when I love you a little less than before

Oh
Yeah
Yeah
I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again.

Reminiscence of the past, the last year in particular.
I hate reminiscing.
Mainly because they would remind me of just what a loser I am.
How I can never get things the way I want them to be.
Though this year is a new year, I am afraid of the same vicious cycle.

Once bitten, twice shy.
Third time can jump down and die.

Catchy.
But true.

Peace and love,
Lewis

I'm giving in. This is my sundown.

2009-01-16T22:38:00.004+08:00

Jimmy Eat World - My Sundown

I see it around me
I see it in everything
I could be so much more than this

I said my goodbyes
This is my sundown
I'm gonna be so much more than this

With one hand high
You'll show them your progress
You'll take your time
But no one cares
No one cares x2

I need you to show me the way from crazy
I wanna be so much more than this

With one hand high
You'll show them your progress
You'll take your time
But no one cares
No one cares

With one hand high
You'll show them your progress
You'll take your time
But no one cares
No one cares

No one cares
(I could be so much more than this)
No one cares
(I wanna be so much more than this)

Good good bye, lovely time
Good good bye, tinsel shine
Good good bye, I'll be fine
Good good bye, good good night

I feel insignificant.
I feel useless.
I feel angry.
I feel stupid.
I feel childish.
I feel inferior.
I feel ugly.
I feel unachieved.
I feel lonely.
I feel like a loser.
I feel frustrated...
With myself.

Why can't I be them?
No matter how hard I try, I just can't.
I just have nothing to offer.
Sucks.

Peace and love,
Lewis

It kicks so hard it breaks your bones. Cuts so deep, hits your soul.

2009-01-14T23:31:00.003+08:00

James Morrison - Love Is Hard

I see lovers in the streets walking without a care
They wear it out loud like there's something in the air
Well I don't care
They're treading lightly
There's no tracks to follow
They don't care where they're going
And if they're lucky they'll get to see
And if they're really, really lucky they'll get to feel

And it kicks so hard it breaks your bones
Cuts so deep, hits your soul
Tears your skin and makes your blood flow
It's better that you know
That love is hard.

Love takes hostages and gives them pain,
Gives someone the power to hurt you again and again
But they don't care

And if they're lucky they'll get to see
And if they're really, really lucky they'll get to feel
And if they're truly blessed then they'll get to believe
And if you're damned you'll never let yourself be deceived

And it kicks so hard it breaks your bones
Cuts so deep, hits your soul
Tears your skin and makes your blood flow
It's better that we know
That love is hard.

It kicks so hard it breaks your bones
Cuts so deep, hits your soul
Tears your skin and makes your blood flow
It's better that we know
It kicks so hard it breaks your bones
Cuts so deep, hits your soul
Tears your skin and makes your blood flow
It's better that we know
That love is hard

If it was easy it wouldn't mean nothing.

If it's meant to to be...
It'll be.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Hanging by a moment here by myself.

2009-01-11T23:42:00.004+08:00

Lifehouse - Hanging By A Moment

Desperate for changing, starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started while chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation, you take all of me now

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose, there's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world that can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing, starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started while chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment here with you

Well, this year is probably going to be the most tiring year of my 18-year life.
Soccer trainings, tests, exams, North Zone, Nationals, A Levels.
I seriously do not think I have the capacity and discipline to overcome these obstacles, but I wish I can have.

It's not easy and I'm trying my best to move on.
But no matter how hard I try, I just seem to still be running on that treadmill.
It all seemed so perfect for you and I don't want to ruin any of that.
Even though I do not have the ability to do so anyway.
Perhaps I'm still blind.

I'm hanging by a moment.
A moment.

Peace and love,
Lewis

I would fall asleep only in hopes of dreaming that everything will be like it was before.

2009-01-05T00:20:00.003+08:00

Lifehouse - Blind

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless
As you turn around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep
That even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go

After all this why
Would you ever want to leave
Maybe you could not believe it

That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go

That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go

Peace and love,
Lewis

Touch.

2009-01-01T21:19:00.002+08:00

If you got to choose to lose all your senses but one, which one would it be?
Now this is one of the common random questions we often ask one another.
I learnt today, the answer to that question.

Sight.
How awful it would be not to be able to see the beautiful things around us, to see the people you love every single day.

Hearing.
How awful it would be not to be able to listen to music, to sound, to hear the words "I love you." being spoken to you.

Smell.
How awful it would be not to be able to smell the fragrance of flowers, the fragrance of the person you love.

Speech.
How awful it would be not to be able to communicate to the people around you, not to be able to tell the ones around you how much you love them.

I thank God for all the senses that He's given to me because how devasting it would be to lose either one of these.
But I thank God for the most important, in my point of view, sense.
The sense of touch.

I realised today that how wonderful a touch is and how much impact a simple touch can make to any one of us.
When one is sad, how wonderful it feels if you could lie on someone's shoulder, if someone puts his/her arms around you.
How wonderful it feels to grab the hands of the person you love, to grab the hands of a newborn baby.
You would be able to feel loved and the other person will feel it too.
And the feeling lingers on for a long time.

That is the sense of touch.
Which is what I'd like to call, the touch of love.

So next time someone's feeling down, do not hesitate to lend a shoulder or your arms.
Because everyone needs love.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Here's to a new year.

2009-01-01T00:28:00.001+08:00

Well, for 2009 I shall summarise my resolutions for this year:
1) Find God again
2) Rekindle relationships with family member and friendships
3) Maintain and strengthen current friendships, especially to the 10 people (Anthony, Benjamin, Dudley, Jason, Jerome, Chester, Keith, Yenhui, Yeomei and Miss Andrea Ni)
4) Ace my A's
5) Win North Zone
6) At least a semi-final place in Nationals
7) Be more matured

I think that'd be it.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Growing up? I have no choice but to.

2008-12-31T23:12:00.002+08:00

So, 2008 is closing to an end.
To summarise my 2008, I would say that it's been one of the worse years of my life.

Let's see, disappointing O' level score, flunked mid-years despite studying really hard, deteorating fitness, church leaders all but one left the church, lost passion for God, girl trouble, flunked end of year and had to re-exam, and last but not least, having to serve a one week suspension and 48 hour CIP programme.

But besides all the negativity, there has been lots of joy this year as well.
Let's see, got into SR soccer team, camp ASPIRE, 6 wonderful brothers (Anthony, Dudley, Benjamin, Jason, Jerome and Chester), 1 wonderful God-mom (Miss Andrea Ni), Yangshuo trip.

Well, all I can say is that without those 6 dudes and 1 God-mom, I would still be dropping down the bottomless pit.
They're the ones who pulled me out of it and has always been there for me.
And the Yangshuo trip has also been the best 8 days of the year and I want to thank everyone on the trip for just being there.
Thank you.

The dudes and chicks that kept me going (:

The dudes and chick who kept me going to church (:

Cheers for a better 2009!
I hope.

Peace and love,
Lewis

I hate this feeling. This helpless feeling.

2008-12-28T00:48:00.002+08:00

Lifehouse - Broken

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hanging on another day just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on
I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

Peace and love,
Lewis

The shoreline calls the sea, for simple words and company.

2008-12-26T03:45:00.002+08:00

Christmas, the birth of Jesus.
Christmas isn't just all about the parties and the presents.
It is spending time with the ones you love.

And here I am, coped up in this small room.
No one to talk to.
All I have are songs playing on repeat.
Movies of fantasies, showing us the perfection of situations.
Only for me to come back to reality and realise, that I am alone.

I'm tired of playing dumb.
There are so many thing that I wish to say but just can't spill them out.
Otherwise there would be dire consequences which would affect friendships.
I'd rather suffer alone.

Life is just so funny.
When you throw that boomerang, it just comes back at you.
I'm not going to say anything.
Maybe not even going to do anything from now on.

Whenever we do something fanciful on the pitch,
Mr Teng always says, "What for?".
And now I'm questioning myself when I wait and when I hope.

Despite the possibilities of hope,
I do not think it'll happen anyway.
I'm just a small boy after all.

I'm not going to open Pandora's Box.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Awesome party. Great company. Good feeling. Bad begginings. Awful thoughts.

2008-12-24T03:33:00.006+08:00

When one is happy, the others around will also be happy.
When one is sad, the others around will also be sad.
When one is angry, the others around will also be angry.
When one is crazy, the others around will also crazy.
When one is affected, the others around will also be affected.
When one falls, the others around will also fall.
This my friends is called, ''The Domino Effect".

And I'm still feeling the effects of it.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Scars.

2008-12-17T01:52:00.001+08:00

Scar:
1. A permanent mark that is left after you have had a cut or wound.
2. A permanent emotional mental effect caused by an unpleasant experience.

People often use the word "scar" to describe a failure in their life.
I won't deny the fact that I've used it a lot of times.
But I found another way of looking at this word, and revert it to something which could be more useful.

We often see scars as something unpleasant.
As a mark that is ugly.
As a mark that reminds you of a bad experience.
As a mark that will remain there forever.
And because of all these reasons, we find it very difficult to move on or even try again.

Yes a scar is ugly, but since when was failure beautiful?
Yes a scar reminds us of a bad experience, but it can also remind us the fact that we've tried our best?
Yes a scar will remain there forever, so are we going to remain beaten forever?

Scars are an indication that you've tried so hard but still end up falling.
That would explain a deep mark.
However, failure is inevitable.
Sometimes we're all too afraid of moving on or trying again because we're afraid of having another scar; another indication of failure.
However again, fear is inevitable.

When an inevitable comes, we all have got to learn to accept it.
Learn to learn from it.
And either move on or try again.

Imagine one day you were a baby and you fell down really badly while attempting to walk.
With the blood oozing, you sit on the ground and cry.
Your parent arrives to clean and dress the wound.
You leave yourself with a scar on your body.
The next day, would you sit there and never attempt to walk again?
No, your baby instincts would somehow spur yourself to try again.
Even if you still keep falling, you now can learn from each fall till you eventually walk.

Learn from each fall till you eventually walk.
And no matter how tough the journey is, at least you'll know you've tried your best.
You're not going to gain anything being afraid.
No pain, no gain.

. "The scars run too deep, such that I can't seem to move on."
. "The scars remind me that the past is real."
. "I can still feel the pain through the scars."
Aren't these one the few classic lines people use to describe their failed attempts?
Well, these lines are just excuses.
Excuses people come up with because their head is in their way.
Because they're afraid of failure again.

Instead of letting your head get in your way, use your head to analyse why you failed.
Take measures to improve and move on.
There will come a point in your life where you're going to have to repeat the feat.
When that time comes, deal with it.
Instead of being fearful to face your fears, let your fears be fearful to face you.

"Do not be afraid" appeared in the Bible 365 times.
It's equivalent to God telling you not to be afraid every single day in a year.
Now you've go to be sure He means it.
Surely, "With God, all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26)

Even for those who do not believe in Christianity, do not let scars tell you what to do.
You look at the scars with your eyes and tell them what to do.

Fate is in our own hands and whatever cards we are dealt with, we're supposed to make do with it.
Scars be scars, there's nothing much we can do to remove it or cover it.
I say, just let it be and thank God for the learning experience.

Move on.

Peace and love,
Lewis

I miss the company. Too bad all good things have to come to an end.

2008-12-14T00:28:00.002+08:00

Ever since coming back from Yangshuo, I never had the time to blog with all the consecutive matches and trainings.
Honestly, these nights are getting kinda empty and boring.
Simply put, I miss the company of the people in Yangshuo.
The simplicity of the country and the laughter the people bring have seriously made me appreciate all things around me more.
Especially seeing my friends first thing in the morning everyday.
These 8 days have truly been the best 8 days of 2008 for me.

Night 1: School stayover
Reached school at around 6.30pm to meet Dsen, Jingfang and Yong Feng to purchase the campfire stuff.
We took all the preserved food and some sauces only to realise we forgot the music CD for the campfire night.

So I rushed to Kovan to buy marshmellows and some gay shit 70s' disco dance CD.
Interacted with the parents and the Yangshuo peeps.
Realised that Jolyn's brother is like damn cute.
I totally can't see the resemblance.
Haha.

Anyway, the Rocmoc people celebrated Raihana's birthday and Rachel baked this huge cake which tasted awesome.
Good job hippie!
I found a soccer ball and before you know it, we were kicking it in the hall.
The girls on the other hand, were cam-whoring lik mad.
After that, there was a bag check and everyone hid their iPods and PSPs in the their lockers.
Which didn't really make much sense considering the fact that teachers obviously knew we possessed iPods and PSPs during the trip.
Lights off and everyone lied on mats and slept like pigs.
Especially Jolyn the pig, who just can't wake up the next morning.

Day 1: Tour around Guangzhou
Woke up and we left for the airport at around 7am.
Took the airplane and said goodbye to proper sanitation and clean water for another 8 days.
4 hours of watching Greek and listening to my iPod.
Reached Guangzhou and said hello to cold weather and disgusting toilets for another 8 days.
Toured around Guangzhou for 10 hours taking lots of pictures of the scenery, which I accidentally deleted during the trip.
Dang.
McDonalds for dinner and I was being a nice guy to help Jolyn with the ordering and the thanks I was given was the stupid laughter of hers when the chinese person at the counter couldn't understand what I said.
I still don't understand how sauces in chinese meant events instead.
China people.

Anyway, we waited for everyone to check in together.
We ended up having to wait for Jingfang, then Rachel went to find Jingfang and then Jingfang came back but Rachel didn't and so we wanted to go find Rachel but she appeared all of a sudden.
So ya, confusing shit.
Took a budget plane to Guilin, which gave us ALOT of their name cards.
So I was being a nice guy and collecting all the name cards they gave to us to return to them when I reached Guilin.
Jolyn and Raihana so thought I wouldn't dare to give them back, but I did.
Haha.
You should've seen the look on the air stewardess's face when I handed her the stack of their name cards.
And Jolyn was being a Singaporean and taking all the green pea packets from us.
Tsk tsk.

Reached Guilin and it was FREEZING.
We could even see our breath in the air.
Sat the bus to a resort in Yangshuo which took 2 hours.
And if you could overlook the creepy red lanterns and the 'no throwing the toilet paper into the toilet bowl' rule, the place ain't half that bad.
The stars we seemingly out of our reach.
Awesome.
Checked into the same room as Jerome and we unpacked then slept.

Day 2: Trekking
Jerome and me were one of the late ones to wake up.
Mainly because his only alarm, with the ringtone of 'Home' by Michael Buble didn't help much.
Headed to some hotel for breakfast and the noodles were awesome.
Afterwhich Group 1 and Group 2 headed for some place to start our trekking while Group 3 and Group 4 headed for another place for their cycling.
Trekking was fun, considering the fact that only Jerome, Benjamin, Sheryl, Jolyn, Mdm Jess Wong and I were at the back strolling and taking pictures while trying to avoid the overwhelming number of buffalo dung.

We stopped halfway to eat our packed lunch and to receive the news that we won't be cycling the next half of the day because the bikes Group 3 and Group 4 received were defective and dangerous to ride on considering the rough terrain.
So we had to walk another 8km apart from the 10km we already walked!
Disappointing, but enriching.
Especially with the company of the people.

Reached the town and the tour guide quarrelled with the bike shop owner, who demanded for a compensation for Dsen's spoilt bike.
Crazy drama.
Dinner at some eating place.
The food wasn't what we expected to be.
It was simply like shit.
And the dinner table was kinda quiet with me being the only one really making an effort to stir up a conversation within the group.
Well, left that place for the resort after that, group debrief then overall debrief then sleep.
Benjamin Koh was the rare guy that day.
Haha.

Day 3: Rockclimbing + Abseiling
Woke up earlier today and breakfast at the resort, which was so much better.
Scramble eggs, pancakes and orang juice!
Headed to do rockclimbing after that.
It was like shit for me cause I was like struggling with the first route, which was supposed to be the easiest route there.
It was so difficult for me to stretch given my small physique and the bellayer, Xiao Qiang, was making me laugh with his chinese accent.
He said the funniest shit on his phone.
The phone rang, he picked up and said with his chinese accent, "What up?".
I was laughing my ass off.
Jolyn and Raihana are imbar shits.
They're like rockclimbing monsters.
Scary how they ease through all the routes.

After that was abseiling.
We had to carry our pizza boxes up the steep slopes up to the abseiling place.
It was kinda dangerous and Mr Yong were expecting us to catch up quick.
I was shouting for him to consider safety over catching up.
So we decided to make the '2 girls and 1 guy' sequence to make it safer for the girls.
Along the way, there were alot of thorns and they were to be avoided.
Upon reaching the top, we were all tired and had to wait for 4 hours for all, but 7, to abseil.
We were so bored that we played 'throw the stone into the holes', 'sissors, paper and stone with real sticks, leaves and stones', 'throw the stone to knock the bottles down' and my personal favourite, 'wack the Amos'.
Group 1 did this gay shit video as well.

Though the time was long, it was fun.
Especially the company.
Talked to Ben about his future and I just felt led to use the abseil as reference to his life.
Great time.
Went for dinner at the hotel.
Food was better than the day before but overwall was still still pretty quiet.
Headed back to the resort for debriefs and video editings the sleep.
Rachel so looks like a hippie and I even got her to say "drugs are cool!".
I was the rare guy today.
Haha.

Day 4: CIP at primary school
Woke up and breakfast at the resort.
Headed for the village again.
Keep seeing the same vehicle with the number plate "E874 AHH"
Love the 'AHH'.
Haha.
Reached the school and saw all them cute kids.
Then went weeding and ploughing for the first half of the day there.
Helped this old lady carry these huge stacks of bamboo along the way.
And I conclude that Jolyn's such a pampered gay shit mama.
Went back to the school for lunch and met this damn cute quiet small boy.
Everyone couldn't get him to talk initally, but I am proud to say I succeeded in making him talk and even laugh.
Then came a quiet girl with a limp as well.
Well, deja vu.
I got this girl to talk and laugh as well.
Man, I'm good with kids.
It so happens that these two kids were sibblings.
And both of them often got bullied by the other kids.

Introduced Jolyn to the boy and she fell in love with him, even though he kept crying randomly.
Then helped to cement awhile before slacking away.
After every hour, the kids get a break and they would come running out to play sports like soccer and basketball.
It was fun playing monkey with the small kids, who by the way, have unlimited stamina.
They would even climb onto you and ask you to carry them.
It was fun.
Especiallywhen Edmond and I went into this class where everyone thought we both were monsters and started wacking us.
One kid even headbutted by butt with his head and another tried to stuff his head up my ass.
Let's hope they grow up to become smarter.
Haha.
So Edmond and I decided to scare the kids off.
Let me say, Edmond's face expression was retarded and could scare any kid away.
Haha.
There was also this gangster we call 'lau da' in the vicinity.
He would wack anyone who snatched his stuff away.
Scary.
I even suggested killing him before he grows up to be some Mafia gang leader.
Haha.
The toilet was disgustingly disgusting and smelly.

One would rather pee in the bushes.
One of our forfeits for the animal game was to stay in the toilet for just 1 minute.
Anthony was saved by the whistle.
Haha.
At night was kinda crowded with all the villagers coming to the school for a night movie which many of them couldn't understand.
We were considered the "chocolate drink Gods" there since they have never tried Milo before.
The stocks were depleting fast.
Anyway, the night was Milo, curry, Kachang Puteh and movie screening.
Some of us just slacked at the second level while helping to look after the bags.

Tiring day.
Headed back to the resort at around 9.30pm and video editing then sleep.
No debrief today since everyone was so shagged out.

Day 5: Traversing + Rockclimbing + Campfire
Woke up and breakfast at the resort.
We then headed to the top of the same mountain as the abseiling.
Only slightly lower and this time with Group 4.
It was FREAKING COLD!
Mainly because of the morning wind blowing so strongly.
We were practically freezing to death and hugging one another for warmth.
Talk about brokeback mountain.
Haha.
Darly still refuses to turn gay at that moment.
Haha.
Traversing was quite funny considering that we would only traverse halfway, then cycle the other half before abseiling down and coming up to return the harness and gloves again.
Haha.
Many wanted to go down AFAP.

After the cold experience, we headed to do rockclimbing at a different location.
And this time, it was so much better for me.
I guess it's because I decided to start listening to the advice of others.
Finished all 3 routes.
Then we sat on the grass and the guys hugged one another and had a gay ol' time.
Jingfang and Taihong so make a great couple.
Haha.

After that campfire.
That turned out bad, as nothing went according to plan.
The timings and set-up were all wrong.
Got to thank Wenbin, Edmond, Moses, Amos, and Ben for saving the campfire committee's ass.
Had alot of cheers, 'fast food game', 'Simon says', 'Hokey Pokey' and the limbo.
Not to mention, the firecrackers and fireworks which really really saved our asses.
Apologised to everyone during debrief back at the resort.
After that went to confront to teachers regarding the unfair distribution of the laptops for the group video.
The other groups expect Gwen and Jerome to wait till 1am for the laptops which is totally unfair to them.
And so the teachers decided to postpone the video sharing to tomorrow.
Awesome.

Then talked to Ben and Amos before visiting Rachel, a.k.a. Hippie, and Melissa, a.k.a. Princess.
One is like a mother, the other is like the daughter.
I'm sure you can guess who's who.
Left Ben to talk to Rachel while Jerome and I went back to our room and sleep.

Day 6: Orienteering race + Liu San Jie + Shopping at West Street
Woke up and breakfast at the resort...again.
Then we started our orienteering race.
The 4 different groups are supposed to start off at different locations and take group pictures of the places on a piece of paper given to each group.
It was fun travelling all around the Yangshuo area and doing the transversing and rockclimbing as a group.
We were basically depending so much on the pictures and our group eventually emerged as the group with the highest points.
Woohoo!
After that, we went back to the village and headed for the west street of Guilin to shop.
It was a blast and having Wenbin around is a must.
His bargaining skills are better than some aunties in Singapore.
Phua was looking for the black colour Mao Zedong shirt throughout our time there.
But decided to stick with the white one.
Many different shops there.
I must say, the sex shop down there really tickled our funny bones.
There was an apron with a dick on it.
Damn hilarious.
Then Edmond went in and took out a one boob soft toy.
Haha.

Dinner was awesome too.
We were like playing hide and seek with Mr Yong.
Haha.

After dinner was Liu San Jie which could be awesome-er, if the weather wasn't freakin' cold that night.
And if the other tourists were considerate enough to settle down and watch like normal civilised human beings.
The lights and coordinations were captivating but I soon fell asleep when I still couldn't figure out what happened after trying very hard to.
Before I know it, the show was over.
And we all rushed to the bus for warmth.

After that, went back for debrief and then jerome and I went over to grab Ben and Anthony over to our rooms.
As soon as we entered our room, Jerome was so tired that he jumped into his bed.
But ended up jumping off his bed when he saw a rat crawling across his bed into a corner.
Guess it's the same rat Daryl.
So we went up to Edmond's room cause Jerome refused to sleep in a room where he knows there's a rat in it.
In the room, I decided to play a game with Edmond.
It was of trying to start a conversation with 3 pieces of biscuits stuffed into our mouths.
Before you know it, everyone else in the room was joining us.
Funny shit man.
The we went onto Edmond's bed and played cards.
Jerome is clearly damn lousy.
Losing all the games.
Haha.

Then we settled down and talked.
After much talk, we realised that we keep linking up our conversations to one topic and so we decided to talk 'serious' talk.
Then Wenbin came into the room and immediately jumped onto the bed and hugged Ben's elbow cause he was freezing.
After much talk, we all eventually died on Edmond's bed while Anthony went back to his room cause he wasn't feeling well.

Day 7: Moon Hill + Crown Cave + Shopping and checking in to Guilin
oke up and breakfast at the same place where we ate dinner on the first night in Yangshuo.
This time, the food was better.
Much better.

After eating we headed for Moon Hil which was 786 steps to the top!
Me and Anthony were the only retards counting on the way up.
Well, the view is nice at the top and we took alot of photos there.
There were these damn old granny who followed us all the way up despite their age.
Respect man.
So we felt bad and bought their stuffs.

After Moon Hill was Crown Cave and the cartwheel ride to the cave is awesome!
Especially all the banging.
Okay, sounds wrong.
Ben and I sure love banging.
Sounds wrong again.
Haha.
Reached there and Briana lost her phone on the way.
Sorry girl.
Jerome was wanting to pee in the cave but controlled it.
We walked and walked and saw the beautiful rock sculptures along the way.

After Crown Cave was the travel to Guilin.
Upon reaching the hotel, Mr Kok gave us from 6.30pm till 12.30am to party and shop.
So it was wohoo!
We walked as a group, went to the underground shops and bargained.
Bought roadside food and settled down at a Bar/Restaurant.
Ate the gay shit Mexican Platte, which was literally gay shit.
It was fun and we didn't realised how crazy Yong Feng, Ian and Glen were.
Total madness.
They ended up waking up late the next morning.
Haha.

Day 8: Traveling back to Singapore
Woke up and breakfast at the hotel.
Went to the airport and took our flight to Guangzhou.
At Guangzhou, we saw Jay Chou.
Yes, I mean JAY CHOU.
And funny thing, he was standing right beside me and I didn't even know.
Most of the girls and Jerome, went crazy.
They started bluetooth-ing his picture taken by a caddy around.
Crazy shit.
After that was the journey back to Singapore and goodbye to my friends.

Well, it was the BEST 8 days of 2008 and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
The bonds formed during the trip, I really hope will stay together.
And even as each us take up our different roads, we'll still support one another in times of difficulty.
Thank you my friends for making this trip awesome.
And this trip couldn't do without any one of you.
Thank you and keep in contact guys (:

Peace and love,
Lewis

Love is what bonded us together. Do you remember? I do.

2008-12-11T11:36:00.003+08:00

Ouch the ankle.
Clearly my ankle's beginning to give up on me.
Match against Tampinese JC yesterday ended with a 4-0 win at the expense on my ankle.
Match tomorrow against Deyi and Anderson JC the day after.
Pray to God that my ankle will still be intact.

Well, I've been missing Yangshuo these couple of days.
Mainly missing the company of the people there.
If only time could freeze.
But hey, who are we to challenge time aye.
Give me a while more to update on my trip.

Until then.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Stop all the massacres in my mind. Goodbye.

2008-11-30T17:52:00.003+08:00

Went to church.
Went for lunch with family.
Sis and mom quarreling again.
Emotional rollercoaster.
Went to get China currency.
Went to Bras Basah for mess tin.
Went home.
Packed bag.
Helped to move furniture.
Still emotional rollercoaster.
Going to school soon.
Good thing.
Leaving Singapore tomorrow.
China.
Forget everything problem in life.
Look at the beauty of nature.
Stay there for 7 days.
Then come back and face same problems.
Hopefully...
Never come back.
Au revoir.

Peace and love,
Lewis

If anyone can see through this false facade. If only.

2008-11-29T14:21:00.002+08:00

Soccer match against seniors.
Played 30 minutes.
Toe excruciatingly pain.
Subsituted out.
Played keeper for seniors.
Got mocked.
Lunch.
Slept on the bus and MRT with Weijun to Outrum Park.
Called Yenhui.
Walked alone.
Met Keith at City Hall.
Shopping.
Coffee.
Supposedly movie.
Walked to far away bus stop.
Took bus 80 home.
1 hour.
Kovan MRT.
Bought dinner.
Went home.
Watched 4 episodes of Greek.
Totally bummed.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Less words. More interpretations.

2008-11-28T01:31:00.000+08:00

Soccer training in the morning.
Soccer match against Hougang Police Post.
Won.
Played an above average match.
Injured toe.
Match tomorrow.
Feeling beat.
Night.

Peace and love,
Lewis

The escape atiste says.

2008-11-24T02:30:00.003+08:00

It pains me to see so many of my friends falling from this thing we call love.
Friends talking about love not being eternal.
Friends talking about unforeseen love.
Friends talking about unwanted love.
And it sucks not being able to help in any other way but lending a listening ear.
I know I may not have the best track record for having a happy life, but I'm sure my ears are enough.
Maybe even topped off with a couple of advice.

Miss Ni always says she gets hurt whenever she sees me laugh or smile.
She says it's because she knows that I'm laughing and joking on the outside while disintegrating on the inside.
She says I'm an escape artiste.
Someone who escapes his own problems by dealing with other peoples' problems.
Someone who hides his own problems with smiles and jokes.
And I'm ashamed to say that she's right.
But I'm also proud to say that I don't mind.
Cause I'd rather help other people solve their problems than my own.

They say that one must first solve his/her problems before solving other peoples' problems.
I say that all huamn beings need is to know that someone is there listening to them.

I want to be that someone to all who need it.
It's my only way of detaching from my own emotions.

There's nothing much I can do but lend a pair of listening ears to those who need it.
And no matter who you are, no matter what background you come from, no matter whether you're right or wrong, I'm willing to help.
Cause I always believe that there's good in everyone.

Here to my broken-hearted friends:

When love has come
But soon is gone
It begs the question
Was it there

The love was lost
And never found
Lost without you
Lost without me
Lost into eternity

The love was just a figment
A figment of our minds
Something we could ponder
But never express

Was it love or just a feeling
Was it love or just healing

Healing from the hatred
The hatred of our hearts
Our past was deep and full of pain
We needed this to release the stain

For this I do not regret
The time with you that I had spent

Peace and love,
Lewis

The chaser who always takes the backseat. Loserific.

2008-11-23T23:09:00.005+08:00

Snow Patrol - Signal Fire

- Forever taking the backseat.

Snow Patrol - The Planets Bend Between Us

I'm always the chaser.
Always.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Stay on that pitch...just let me stay.

2008-11-23T03:37:00.000+08:00

The pitch.
That 75X120 yard piece of grass patch.
That's the only place I feel wanted.
That's the only place I find peace.
That's the only place I want to stay in.
That's the only place I pray in.
The adrenaline.
The intensity.
The atmosphere.
Indescribable.

Even though I scored today, I somehow still feel empty.
I somehow still feel that I'm not there yet.
My fitness, deproving.
The only consolation is me knowing I'm at least heading the right way on that pitch.
But it's still not enough.

Let's face it, I've not been a good Christian lately.
The things that I do not deserve, He still gave.
His grace.
Is something I've been taking for granted.
With the fire buring out, He's still out there desperately searching for firewood.
I feel ashame.
I feel I do not deserve the goal.
I feel I do not deserve everything that I have.
But He still gave.

I need to push.
I need to bleed.
I need to improve.
I need someone anywhere to motivate me.
I need someone.

And lastly,
I need to stay on that pitch.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Deep revelation.

2008-11-20T22:43:00.003+08:00

Pain.
The only true emotion humans can feel.
Happy, sad, angry.
All these don't really make a deal.

Fake.
That's what they are.
Just masks,
For what may seem so far.

Pain.
The only true emotion humans can feel.
It is often denied.
As humans tend to conceal.

Complex.
That's what it is.
How it's present no matter when.
Stop to think and you will realise this.

Pain.
The only true emotion humans can feel.
Though detestable,
It is what makes us know we're real.

Crazy.
You think I am.
But you know what?
I don't really give a damn.

Pain.
The only true emotion humans can feel.
It started with pain it ends with pain.
This is life's endless wheel.

Pain.

Peace and love,
Lewis

I dive into the deep—into the sea inside of me.

2008-11-20T03:18:00.013+08:00

Deas Vail - Shoreline (Kingdom of Hearts Video)

So you say I'm better off here,
as dry as the shoreline in an ocean of fear.
And so you say that I can’t be alive
Until there is nothing when we’re meeting eyes
Again
And day by day I wander these halls,
And you’re casting a shadow onto every wall.
And all the way you ring in my ear,
from the moment I knew you were leaving me here.
You were leaving me here.
You were leaving me here.
You were leaving me here.

This give and take, this waiting on time
It’s this twisted up memory that I can’t unwind.
These fragile words that fall from my mouth
And I’m crumbling and crowded, but I’ve figured you out.
I've figured you out.
I've figured you out.
I've figured you out.

The shoreline calls the sea
For simple words and company,
But words go on and on,
Till they collide and all is gone.
I dive into the deep—into the sea inside of me
To find another song,
To find a place where I belong.

The shoreline calls the sea
For simple words and company,
But words go on and on,
Till they collide and all is gone.
I dive into the deep—into the sea inside of me
To find another song,
To find a place where I belong.

I dive into the deep—into the sea inside of me
To find another song,
To find a place where I belong.

As you glance around at all the faces, you'd be uninterested.
They hardly know each other, or anyone else.
Some point into blank space, some talk to themselves.
Some abandoned, some just simply ended up there.
Some lead normal lives before, some born like that.

As you glance around at all the faces, you'd be wondering.
How they once were like you and I.
Having friends, having a family.
Able to confide to someone, able to joke with someone.
Able to be loved, able to receive concern.

As you glance around at all the faces, you'd be sad.
At how you wish you could help, but there's so little you can do.
All you can do for them is sing, all you can do them is dance.
All you can do for them is playing pass the parcel, all you can do for them is clap along.
How they're like birds locked up in a cage, just dying for acceptance from society.

As you glance around at all the faces, you'd be afraid.
That one day you might end up like them, that you might lose everyone you know.
That one day people will look unto you with pity, that you would be feared.
That people will never take you seriously, that you would not even recognise yourself.

As you glance around at all the faces, you'd appreciate.
All that you have presently.

This was my day at Sunlove.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Detachment of emotions.

2008-11-18T23:47:00.002+08:00

Compassion.
The raw human emotion.
How so many lack it.
I'm sick and tired of being human.
All these emotions.
How I envy the birds.
Flying to different places all the time.
So carefree.
So lucky.

Fly Lewis fly.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Slow down.

2008-11-13T22:29:00.000+08:00

Narturally, we all say time is moving too fast.
Too fast that we can't seem to take a step back and look at the things that mean so much to us.
While it is true in reality that we can never stop time, I would say time is not moving fast at all.

Why does it seem that life is moving so fast now?
We all have the same feelings whereby we feel that time moves faster as we grow older.

However, I would say that time is moving at exactly the same speed as it was 10 years ago.
In fact, time is not the one that's moving fast.
We are.

As humans, we just walk through life in a stereotypical sequence.
Primary school then secondary school then junior college/polytechnic/ITE then university/work then work then get married then start a family then retire then die.
So by the looks of it, we're moving faster and dying earlier.

We often feel that life will not wait for us.
But in actual fact, we're not living our life to the fullest if we just keep sharpshooting to the peak.
Eat a meal in five minutes or take your time and eat the meal while watching your favourite show for an hour?
Now which will be more satisfying?
Now which do you prefer?

As humans, we usually think of the consequences before doing something.
Though it may be good, it may not be good all the time.
Sometimes, we just got to lay everything aside and make a firm decision from the start.
And stick to it.

Slow down, just slow down.
Don't think.
Just slow down.

I need the beach...
The waves.

Peace and love,
Lewis

And now again I've found myself so far down.

2008-11-11T04:09:00.001+08:00

3 Doors Down - Away From The Sun

It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone tell what I've done
I miss the life
I miss the colors of the world
Can anyone tell where I am

Cause now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down away from the sun again
Away from the sun again

I'm over this
I'm tired of livin' in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I know

And now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me to find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down away from the sun again

It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't tell what I've done

And now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines to light the way for me
And now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place

I'm so far down away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me to find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down away from the sun again

A reflective long bus ride home.

IJC match tomorrow and re-exam on friday.
Ankle injured and math untouched.
But I want to play.
But I want to ace math.

There are just too many regrets I had in life.
This will either be a regret or me not having more regrets.

I'm screwed.
Damn screwed.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Self-explanatory.

2008-11-09T20:57:00.000+08:00

Anberlin - Creep

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

She's running out the door
She's running out, she run, run, run, run, run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here

Peace and love,
Lewis

Breakdown lag.

2008-11-08T09:57:00.011+08:00

John Mayer - Comfortable

I just remembered that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
and rolled down aisle five
You looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
They asked us if we could leave

Can't remember what went wrong last September
though I'm sure you'd remind me if you had to

Our love was comfortable and so broken in

I sleep with this new girl I'm still getting used to
my friends all approve,
say "she's gonna be good for you"they throw me high fives
She says the Bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
Your mouth was so dirty

Life of the party and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane

Our love was comfortable and so broken in
Sshe's perfect
So flawless
or so they say, hey
say, hey

She thinks I can't see the smile that she's faking
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
Grey sweatpants
No makeup
So perfect

Our love was comfortable and so broken in
she's perfect
So flawless
I'm not impressed
I want you back

Enough said.
Body ache, heart ache.

Peace and love,
Lewis

2008-11-06T23:12:00.004+08:00

Mayday Parade - I'd Hate To Be You When People Find Out What This Song Is About

I've been posting music videos for quite sometime now.
It's because I feel that these songs can express how I feel without me saying without me saying a single word.
Basic emotions like: Frustration, Sadness, Confusion, Weariness, Scared, Loneliness.

Juggle them up and you get a sentence like, "I am frustrated that I am lonely, to the point where I am sad and confused, adding to the tiredness of all my constant fears."

Re exam in a week, soccer training tomorrow, Yangshuo presentations.
All of which I'm screwing up and gonna screw up.

Now I don't even dare to talk to you.
And I don't even hate you.
How retarded can one get?

This retarded.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Wanna leave this world for a while.

2008-11-05T17:06:00.004+08:00

John Mayer - Free Fallin'

She's a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus and America too
Shes a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis
Loves horses and her boyfriend too

It's a long day living in reseda
There's a freeway runnin' through the yard
And I'm a bad boy 'cause I don't even miss her
I'm a bad boy for breakin her heart

And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'

All the vampires walkin' through the valley
Move west down ventura boulevard
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
All the good girls are home with broken hearts

And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'
Free fallin', now I'm free fallin', now I'm
Free fallin', now I'm free fallin', now I'm

I wanna glide down over mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
Gonna free fall out into nothin'
Gonna leave this world for a while

And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'

Peace and love,
Lewis

I can live without you, but without you I'll be miserable at best.

2008-11-04T23:11:00.000+08:00

Mayday Parade - Miserable At Best

Self-explanatory.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Take a look at me now.

2008-11-04T01:01:00.000+08:00

Stereophonics - Dakota

Thinking ‘bout thinking of you
Summer time, think it was June
Yeah, think it was June

Lay about, hang on the grass
Chewing gum, having some laughs
Yeah, having some laughs

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one, your one

Drinking by drinking for two,
Drinking with you, when drinking was new
Slipping in the back of my car
We never went far, didn't need to go far

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one, your one
(x2)

I don’t know where we are going now
(x2)

Wake up, cold coffee and juice
Remembering you, what happened to you?
I wonder if we’ll meet again
Talk about life’s little spin, talk about why did it end

You made me feel like the one
Made me feel like the one, your one
(x2)

I don’t know where we are going now
(x2)

So take a look at me now
(x5)

Peace and love,
Lewis

I'd like that.

2008-11-03T01:01:00.000+08:00

John Mayer - Love Song For No One

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
(get here)

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
just staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
Oh no way

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

Peace and love,
Lewis

So you sailed away, into a grey sky morning. Now I'm here to say, love can be so boring.

2008-11-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

I'm Sorry

Are you referring to me?

I'm sorry if that is.

Never did I mean to cause so much trauma.

Guess this is karma.

I knew I was irritating,

And getting out of hand.

Maybe it's time to make a stand,

And stop my disturbance.

There's only something I want say from the bottom of my heart.

Which is I'm sorry.

I really am.

On the lighter side, I'm screwed for oral presentation.

Peace and love,

Lewis

A warning sign, I missed the good part and I realised.

2008-11-01T00:51:00.004+08:00

Music by the Moon

If I could hold you close
When the dark abides,
And your eyes behold
At the break of light,
I'd write music by the moon
And songs by the sun,
And their melody and tune
Would ring you're the one.

I wished things would've stayed the same.

But let's face it, things will always move along.

In simple words, I miss you messaging me.

Now I'm just afraid to message you.

Peace and love,

Lewis

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing. With a broken heart, that's still beating.

2008-10-29T00:33:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wonder where have all my friends gone and sometimes I just feel all alone.
As I sit in front of the computer, thoughts are constantly running through my mind and I just have no one to dump them too.
I'm not the type of person who would trust anyone that easily to confide my problems to.
So I hardly approach anyone.
Though there are a few who approach me to ask, they are usually the unexpected ones and not the expected ones.

But then again, where have I gone for all my friends?
Apart from my friends in SRJC, I've completely strayed away from my church and secondary and primary school friends.
And I'm a really sucky friend to them.

There's so much within me that I just want to burst out.
The only place where I can do that is in my room.
But when at home for long, I would feel like I'm in an isolation chamber.
I just suck.

Miss Ni told me something today I find total truth in.
Which is the fact that I'm a con atriste.
I've been using my jokes and stupid antics to cover up all the pain within me.
I try to solve people's problems because I can't figure out how to solve my own.
I don't know what I want in the future; no plans.
I'm just some confused kid on the inside with a fake smile on the outside.

But there's something Miss Ni is wrong about me.
It's the truth that I do not love myself at all.
I honestly don't know how to love myself.
How not to look around the mrt to realise I'm the shortest guys there.
How not to look around my friends and realise I do not look as good as them.
How not to look around my friends changing physically and mentally when I'm still stuck in my kiddish body thinking I've changed as well.

My re-exam, I've not even studied yet.
I seriously have no motivation and no optimism left.
Seeing my results after countless times of working hard, studying hard, pushing myself to the limits really wears me down.
Sometimes, I wonder why I even try so hard to excel in my studies when I know that I just can't no matter how hard I tried.
''It's your studying method.''
I've heard this line so many times and I'm quite sick of it.
I changed it, and I still failed.
"Maybe you're still not studying right."
This is what they all say.
I just can't get it right.

I disappoint my parents, I disappoint my friends and I disappoint myself.
Now I'm even disappointing God.
I'm breaking slowly.

While lying at the park and the musics being played, and I look up to the red night sky, you suddenly appeared in my mind.
I want to abstain and forget because I know exactly how you feel about me, but I can't.
The same signs showed initially, the same start and the ending will be the same again.
I just plain suck.

Sometimes I envy those secondary school couples.
Even though they're still not quite matured yet, and even though we all say these kind of relationships won't last, I still envy them.
For at least they have someone who cares for them, someone who'll send a 'Good morning!' or a 'I miss you.' to them.
Just having the thought of someone caring for you is just an awesome feeling.

I'm just clinging onto the edge of the cliff.
If only everyone knew.
If only you knew.

Peace and love,
Lewis

how salty life tastes now that I'm broken.

2008-10-28T00:14:00.003+08:00

Honestly, Ive not been felt good these few days.
Certain circumstances in my life which I feel unbearable to carry.
Friends' problems. Family problems. Girl problems. Loneliness problems. Superficial problems.
These are my undeniable and unashamed problems.
There is some truth in what johnismyname/johnny said.
Which is I've turned emotional and I'm letting it affect me.

I'm not going to bring down the dude, but I just want to let him/her know that I've been trying to deal with them.
There's just a limit to how much a small boy can take.
And blogging is just a small space for me to breathe.

Outings with the guys really help keep my mind off things and I really appreciate the times we all spent out together.
Though I may not share with all of you guys the whole of my problems, you all never fail to cheer me up and listen to what I have to say.
Even when I'm the smallest dude there.

So not everything's going right for me.
But right now, I shall just concentrate on soccer.
Unless someone whom I doubt will ever enter into the fray shows signs.
Though it's difficult to take a familiar image our of my head, I'll try.
Studies wise, I may be retaining considering the fact that I seriously have no motivation to study for the re-exam.
And who knows? SRJC may not even see me in it next year.

Miss Ni said the polytechnic can be the best place to get our lives restarted.
Chester and I agree to that.

Oh well, only time will tell.

Yes, I like the girl.
But somehow I have an ass feeling that the same thing will happen again.
Some of my closer friends will know what happened to me before.
But oh well, if it happens, I will take it with a pinch of salt like I've always been.

I know I do not have the right to say this to all my depressed friends, but hang on to another day just to see what gets thrown in your way.
Be brave to defend what you truly believe in, what you consider important.
And know you're never alone in whatever circumstance you're in.
I'd still love to listen to any of you.
And if anyone of you needs linking or anything, feel free to send me a private message.
The chaos in the tagbox is getting out of hand.

Well, if whatever's meant to be will be,
It will be.

Peace and love,
Lewis

so if you love me, won't you let me know?

2008-10-27T23:38:00.001+08:00

Same signs lead to same ending.
Guess the ol' cliche's gonna happen.

Again.

Peace and love,
Lewis

chasing shadows? yeah.

2008-10-26T20:54:00.002+08:00

3 Doors Down - Landing in London

I woke up today in London
As the plane was touching down
And all I could think about was Monday
When maybe I’d be back around
If this keeps me away much longer
I don’t know what I would do
You got to understand it’s a hard life,
that I’m going through

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you

L. A. is getting kind of crazy
And New York is getting kind of cold
I keep my head from getting lazy
I just can’t wait to get back home

And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you

And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear

And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way

Cause all I think about is you

Cause all I think about is you

Peace and love,
Lewis

will you know my name? if I saw you in heaven.

2008-10-26T00:56:00.009+08:00

Smile and let go.

Peace and love,
Lewis

until someday, I will find the answer.

2008-10-24T08:56:00.002+08:00

Breakdown lag.
Why try?
I'm suffocating in here.

Peace and love,
Lewis

there's really no way to reach me.

2008-10-24T05:19:00.000+08:00

It has been four freaking consecutive days since I last slept for more than three hours!
I'm tired.
I'm exhausted.
I'm frustrated.
I'm freaking drained and I'm unable to take everything any longer!
Screw PW and every other shit on my mind!
Screw you lewis!

Screw you lewis!

Peace and love,
Lewis

I need to know if you were real, cause I've been known to get it wrong.

2008-10-23T23:21:00.004+08:00

I have so much to say, yet so little to share.
Sometimes I wonder why I try so hard.
Perhaps, I mean nothing at all.
I'm tired.
Gimme a break.

Peace and love,
Lewis

I'm in repair; I'm not together but I'm getting there.

2008-10-22T02:34:00.001+08:00

Between the Trees - Darlin'

I for one feel that I've got to stop living in the shadows of my past.
Love coffee with Dud (:

Peace and love,
Lewis

when you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part.

2008-10-21T04:23:00.002+08:00

You caught me by surprise,
as it was during the time when I could not rise.
I was kept down from my previous experience,
still unable to shake off the occurrence.

I prayed for a miracle,
hoping not to receive something which is satirical.
Then there you were,
beckoning me out of the blur.

Beautiful you are,
with no other human being on par.
Special you are,
like the brightest ever shinning star.

Though you may not agree,
you are to me.
But afraid I am,
knowing this is no tinker's damn.

Giving too much may not be the best choice,
but I just want to see you in rejoice.
Strange that this looks so familiar,
yet feels so peculiar.

Perhaps it may be one-way traffic,
but it may not be all so tenebrific.
Because when you smile,
it makes it all worthwhile.

I may be a fool,
and never be cool.
I may be small,
and never tall.

But one thing's for certain,
and not one that you can draw the iron curtain.
Is that you're lingering in my mind,
and it's not something I can unbind.

What else can I say about school but PW sucks?

Peace and love,
Lewis

someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide in a champagne supernova in the sky.

2008-10-19T20:47:00.005+08:00

I fear of the past repeating itself.
The thought of me left bleeding on the ground kept repeating in my head.
Perhaps it's because it happened over and over again.
And I'm afraid this will be the same case.

Until I get a definite answer would I stop worrying.
But at the same time, I'm afraid of knowing the answer.
The only thing left to do is, refrain and see.

You came into my life
Quietly, simply, placidly
And my words stood still...

I couldn't express in words
Or even in simple gestures
The secret
I kept in my heart.
So I loved in silence,
Admired you from a distance, dreamt if you from afar.

I wanted to say I love you...
I wanted to say I care.

But cowardly, maybe, you'll only laugh at me.
In silence then I will love you...
In silence then I will care...

So if you love me, won't you let me know?

Peace and love,
Lewis

and you thought you found your first love.

2008-10-19T12:35:00.003+08:00

My mind's in a whirlpool of chaos.
But one thing I know, is that God puts us through these circumstances for a reason.
It may not be pretty, but it's for the best.
So whatever the result, I'll still praise Him.

Been listening to John Mayer and Coldplay.
Their lyrics certainly have a deep connection to me.
Oh well, let's just enjoy the life we have now.
Before the storm comes again.
And when that happens,

I'll be prepared.

Peace and love,
Lewis

though nothing's going right, I'll have to make this right.

2008-10-17T22:47:00.004+08:00

Retain?
Maybe.
The thought of it sucks, but if that's where God wants me, I'll retain.

I can't shake you off my mind.
Why?
I don't know why either.

Perhaps,
only time will tell.

Peace and love,
Lewis

Faith.

2008-10-12T23:10:00.002+08:00

Today, I felt like a kid again.
I missed the adrenaline.
Chillax'd.

One day, a teacher had an exercise for his students to try.
They were to stand, facing away from their classmates, and fall backward, relying on another student to catch them.
Most of them were uncomfortable with this, and cannot let go for more than a few inches before stopping themselves.
They laughed in embarrassment.

Finally, one student, a thin, quiet, dark-haired girl whom almost always wears bulky white fisherman sweaters, crosses her arms over her chest, closes her eyes. leans back, and does not flinch.

For a moment, everyone was sure she is going to thump on the floor.
At the last instant, her assigned partner grabs her head and shoulders and yanks her up harshly.

"Whoa!" several students yelled. Some clapped.
The teacher finally smiles.
"You see," he says to the girl, "you closed your eyes.
That was the difference.

Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel.
And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too- -even when you're in the dark.
Even when you're falling."

Trust me (:

Peace and love,
Lewis

is love everything? yes it is.

2008-10-09T23:37:00.002+08:00

Love.
This word can be used to describe all aspects in life.
So the question is: Is love everything?

Let's face it.
None of us know the true meaning of love cause it's unexplainable.
When it comes, it comes.
When you do something for another person, you do it.
My definition of love: Sacrifice.

How far would one go to help out a friend?
How far would one go to get the attention of a girl/guy?
I think we all know the answer to them.

When we love someone, we go all out.
Regardless of how we feel or what we would benefit out of it.
Just to see a smile on the face of the person you helped and to hear their laughters is the most rewarding experience.

Friends are the most important people in a person's life.
I came to realise my true friends in SRJC.
There are times where one of us may stumble.
But as friends, we're quick to pick one another up.
I just want to give a heartfelt thanks to the friends who stood with me through everything.
Four people in my primary school have stood by me as well and I will not exclude the credit from you guys.

Anyway, the way all of them treated me, now that's love.
How can we live without love? Without compassion?

Is love everything then?
Yes...yes it is.

Peace and love,
Lewis

2008-10-02T19:17:00.002+08:00

One word to describe today: Uncertain.
Constant push & pull factors are confusing me.
Seeing my friends' plights made me afraid.
Retracing the memories of the past add to that.
These pain of these scars just won't heal.
Help me.
Please.

Peace and love,
Lewis

the east coast breeze.

2008-09-30T11:14:00.004+08:00

I was at the beach last night.
The waves were calm and the breeze was cooling.
The sound of the crashing of the waves gave me an unimaginable comfort.
Staring blankly into the the cloudless moonlit sky, I've never seen so many stars.
Only two things were on my mind: You and my scorching past.
Unfortunately, my past overshadowed images of you.
Jet planes caught my sight and I wondered to myself,
when will it be my turn to leave on a jet plane?
Hopefully soon.
And once I'm gone, I never want to come back again.

The companionship was great, but my intention wasn't to be there to have fun.
And so, my mind drifted while my smile remained.
Constantly looking at my cell phone, only to be deluding myself.
Neither liquor nor the guitar took away my sorrows.
Hard as I tried to share, I just can't open up my mouth.
Constant fear of this leaking out, I just want it to stay this way.
Is this the end of lewis?
Currently it seems so.
No one may see this, only lewis himself can feel it.

At dawn, I saw a red sky.
How beautiful it was.
It symbolised the start of a new day, a renewal of your life.
Not today to me.
Today, it's significance to me was just the word "beautiful".

And I thought to myself,
this is just the start.

Peace and love,
Lewis